28 December 2009, Monday
The Home Care nurse will visit today. Will have tonnes of questions to ask them on how to manage my fluid bag and some pain management stuff, but mostly more on the operational aspect for the water bag. Still have not figure out exactly what is the correct procedure for cleaning.
Initially, we have been thinking that the fluid in my body is subsiding, but Anthony thinks something is not right. So, I tried sitting up when changing for the water bag. Over the last 2 days, fluid flows out more, which means that I am not getting better as I thought I was. Sigh.
In better spirits over the weekend. Can pray more, which helps me to find solace. This helps a lot in me finding inner peace.
Get to sleep better at night too. Used to wake up, every 1 to 2 hour. Now, it improves. I can sleep through 3 to 4 hours per session during the night, before being disturbed for itchness and requires sponging.
Physically, I am still tired. Try not to sleep in the day too much, as it might affect my sleep at night. So, have to try to find something to do to keep myself awake.
Thanks for your encouraging words. I will still be a fighter to fight on. Need to continue to pursue the driving force that helps me to overcome this challenging period. Doc had predicted 3 to 6 months life span for me. I have exceeded it, and now into the 14 months. Must maintain the positive attitude and calmness in one's mind to conitnue fighting with the cancer cells, although the oncologist at this moment, has run out of medicine for me.
Please pardon me in my flow of thoughts. I am actually quite sleepy. So, may not have constructed the blog properly. But the gitz is still out there.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Not a good day
23 December, 2009 Wednesday
As the year approaches to the end, things are not turning rosy for me. Some of you might have known that I was admitted into SGH for a week, for high calcium level and sustained cough. Been drowsy because of the morphine and vomitted ocassionaly. Pardon me for my wrong spelling too!
Had a course of 5 days treatment of radio theraphy. Today is day 4. Seems to work better on the pain and I don't need so much of the morphine.
Went to see Dr Toh yestersday. The results are not so good. No more chemo drugs for me for the time being until my next visit 3 weeks later. Hopefully, the TCM doc can do some magic about it, since it is going to play the lead role now. Have been stopping TCM med since hospital stay. Don't want to complicate the medication.
Morale a a bit low now. Can't do much prayer/chanting as I used to do it 3 to 4 hours, as the chanting is my morale booaster.
I must say big THANK YOU to my eldest sister. She helps me a lot during this period and sleep as little as me.
As the year approaches to the end, things are not turning rosy for me. Some of you might have known that I was admitted into SGH for a week, for high calcium level and sustained cough. Been drowsy because of the morphine and vomitted ocassionaly. Pardon me for my wrong spelling too!
Had a course of 5 days treatment of radio theraphy. Today is day 4. Seems to work better on the pain and I don't need so much of the morphine.
Went to see Dr Toh yestersday. The results are not so good. No more chemo drugs for me for the time being until my next visit 3 weeks later. Hopefully, the TCM doc can do some magic about it, since it is going to play the lead role now. Have been stopping TCM med since hospital stay. Don't want to complicate the medication.
Morale a a bit low now. Can't do much prayer/chanting as I used to do it 3 to 4 hours, as the chanting is my morale booaster.
I must say big THANK YOU to my eldest sister. She helps me a lot during this period and sleep as little as me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Test results
11 November, 2009 Wednesday
Everytime before the visit to the oncologist, I will go to NCC 1 or 2 days earlier for blood test and Dr Toh will review the blood test results with me during consultation. The feeling is always like a primary school girl, earnestly waiting for her test results.
The tumor marker has jumped to 284, as expected since I was off the chemo drugs for 2 weeks. So, Dr Toh told me to resume my regime. I told him about my chest seizure and chest pain. Had a X-ray done, but nothing shows up. Well, not sure whether this is good thing or not, but I still do not have answer to explain where I am having chest pain for almost 2 months.
Since the discharge from the hospital stay, my appetite deteriorates, especially during dinner time. Tend to get nausea feeling in the midst of dinner, despite I have taken anti-vomnit medicine. Also, I go to the toilet more frequently for big business. Not daihorrea, but usually in small quantity and it irritates me that I have to wash the wound each time I do big business. Now, I don't even dare to pass wind as I am not sure what would be the output. (Sori, a bit gross to discuss this here. Hope you won't puke out your food)
I am going to Japan again on 21 Nov for my 2nd pilgrimage, bringing my gal along. I was thinking very hard if I should go for H1N1 vaccination jap. No doctor can answer my questions, as this is a new drug and there is not enough information on the possible side effects or consequences to cancer patients who are still on treatment. Really troubled. Don't know what to do.
NCC has finally caught up that I stayed in the private ward (4 bedder) for all my hospital stays, so now I am being classified as non-subsidised patient. The savings foregone will be gst on the invoices, 50% on lab test and higher consultancy fees. I asked the doctor what can be done. He said I would need to see a medical social worker. I think forget about about it, since there is not much savings in the first place and the heavy costs are the chemo drugs and counter drugs which are not subsidised anyway. So friends, one day I may raise a fund raising exercise to fund my treatment, since I will be on half pay from next month onwards. Ha! Ha!
Everytime before the visit to the oncologist, I will go to NCC 1 or 2 days earlier for blood test and Dr Toh will review the blood test results with me during consultation. The feeling is always like a primary school girl, earnestly waiting for her test results.
The tumor marker has jumped to 284, as expected since I was off the chemo drugs for 2 weeks. So, Dr Toh told me to resume my regime. I told him about my chest seizure and chest pain. Had a X-ray done, but nothing shows up. Well, not sure whether this is good thing or not, but I still do not have answer to explain where I am having chest pain for almost 2 months.
Since the discharge from the hospital stay, my appetite deteriorates, especially during dinner time. Tend to get nausea feeling in the midst of dinner, despite I have taken anti-vomnit medicine. Also, I go to the toilet more frequently for big business. Not daihorrea, but usually in small quantity and it irritates me that I have to wash the wound each time I do big business. Now, I don't even dare to pass wind as I am not sure what would be the output. (Sori, a bit gross to discuss this here. Hope you won't puke out your food)
I am going to Japan again on 21 Nov for my 2nd pilgrimage, bringing my gal along. I was thinking very hard if I should go for H1N1 vaccination jap. No doctor can answer my questions, as this is a new drug and there is not enough information on the possible side effects or consequences to cancer patients who are still on treatment. Really troubled. Don't know what to do.
NCC has finally caught up that I stayed in the private ward (4 bedder) for all my hospital stays, so now I am being classified as non-subsidised patient. The savings foregone will be gst on the invoices, 50% on lab test and higher consultancy fees. I asked the doctor what can be done. He said I would need to see a medical social worker. I think forget about about it, since there is not much savings in the first place and the heavy costs are the chemo drugs and counter drugs which are not subsidised anyway. So friends, one day I may raise a fund raising exercise to fund my treatment, since I will be on half pay from next month onwards. Ha! Ha!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
"Hotel stay"
1 November 2009, Sunday
I was just discharged from SGH today. Was admitted on Wednesday when I had appointment to see my surgeon and he told me that I need to go under the table again for the same problem. He gave me some medical jargon "FIA" which I have no time to research. He said that if I don't it earlier, the infection would get worse. After having the previous experience, I agreed on the spot.
I have been having discharge from the wound since my last hospital stay in late Aug. In mid October, the infection flare up and I went to see GP. It only solved the problem temporarily for about 1 week and the infection flare up again. The night before, there was even blood discharge. So, no choice, had to do another surgery again. The surgeon said that this problem is quite common. So pray hard that if you have a pus, don't have it next to anus. It has a lot of after "operation" problem.
My mother-in-law calls my hospital stay as hotel stay. Not very pleasant to spend birthday in the hospital. Also, in the midnight of Friday, I was running a fever. The nurse only gave me sponge and cold pack and never gave me panadol that I asked for. Only after the doctors' visit and I told him about it, then I get my panadol. . My eldest sister was very nice. She was almost approaching her workplace and then u-turn back to come to the hospital to accompany me, after hearing that I tear on the phone. The pain was unbearable in the morning at first, with heavy head and fever and nurses not attending to your request plus late breakfast. Everything just seems not right. I only felt more comfortable to see my sister and she bought fish porridge for me for lunch. The hospital food was really lousy that day too! A few friends wanted to visit me and I had to sms to cancel it. Really in super lousy mood.Was drowsy on almost the whole day of Friday and only recover in the night. My hubby visisted at night after work and came with a fruit cake from Bengawan to celebrate my birthday. This brings little cheers to me, coupled with the flowers that I received from my relatives and the fruit basket from the office.
The wound is still quite raw now. I have to monitot it closely. If there is a lot of discharge or blood from the wound or fever returns, I will need to go back to SGH again. Fingers crossed.
One good news that I almost forgot. My tumour marker has dropped to record low of 142! Protein level has also inched up after I pumped protein powder daily. But because of the surgery, the oncologist asked me to stay off from my chemo drugs for 2 weeks. I really hope that the tumour marker will not jump up 200 points like the last time. Will pray very hard for it.
I was just discharged from SGH today. Was admitted on Wednesday when I had appointment to see my surgeon and he told me that I need to go under the table again for the same problem. He gave me some medical jargon "FIA" which I have no time to research. He said that if I don't it earlier, the infection would get worse. After having the previous experience, I agreed on the spot.
I have been having discharge from the wound since my last hospital stay in late Aug. In mid October, the infection flare up and I went to see GP. It only solved the problem temporarily for about 1 week and the infection flare up again. The night before, there was even blood discharge. So, no choice, had to do another surgery again. The surgeon said that this problem is quite common. So pray hard that if you have a pus, don't have it next to anus. It has a lot of after "operation" problem.
My mother-in-law calls my hospital stay as hotel stay. Not very pleasant to spend birthday in the hospital. Also, in the midnight of Friday, I was running a fever. The nurse only gave me sponge and cold pack and never gave me panadol that I asked for. Only after the doctors' visit and I told him about it, then I get my panadol. . My eldest sister was very nice. She was almost approaching her workplace and then u-turn back to come to the hospital to accompany me, after hearing that I tear on the phone. The pain was unbearable in the morning at first, with heavy head and fever and nurses not attending to your request plus late breakfast. Everything just seems not right. I only felt more comfortable to see my sister and she bought fish porridge for me for lunch. The hospital food was really lousy that day too! A few friends wanted to visit me and I had to sms to cancel it. Really in super lousy mood.Was drowsy on almost the whole day of Friday and only recover in the night. My hubby visisted at night after work and came with a fruit cake from Bengawan to celebrate my birthday. This brings little cheers to me, coupled with the flowers that I received from my relatives and the fruit basket from the office.
The wound is still quite raw now. I have to monitot it closely. If there is a lot of discharge or blood from the wound or fever returns, I will need to go back to SGH again. Fingers crossed.
One good news that I almost forgot. My tumour marker has dropped to record low of 142! Protein level has also inched up after I pumped protein powder daily. But because of the surgery, the oncologist asked me to stay off from my chemo drugs for 2 weeks. I really hope that the tumour marker will not jump up 200 points like the last time. Will pray very hard for it.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I make it!
18 October 2009, Sunday
Yes, officially I cross the 1 year mark! A big pat on my shoulder. Clapping sounds and champagnes popping. :-)
Well, the past few days were also not that smooth sailing. Mywound on my butt got infected again and went to see a GP. He gave me antibiotics, antiseptic wash and cream. Luckily the medicine works. Otherwise, I would have to go back to SGH and get the surgeon to cut the wound and clean the infection.
Recently, I have been getting chest pain almost everyday and there is a particular spot on the chest that if I press, it will be painful. My last ECG and chest X-ray taken about 2-3 weeks ago showed normal. So, I also don't know what happen. Probably when the pain becomes so intense and I am perspiring, then I will check myself into A&E. The last time when I went to the walk-in clinic for the chest problem. I actually prepare a bag of toiletries, in case I was being admitted.
There has been some improvement in the bowel business. I have weaned myself off lactus (it's a medicine to soften the stool) and so far, except for 1 day no business, my bowel department has been working well. Swelling stomach has also improved. Goes to the toilet a little more frequent and with better flow. So, stomach has reduced swelling by a bit, and so is my weight. Within a week, my weight has dropped almost 3 kg. I hope this is all due to the water, but my stomach is still quite big.
I will continue to work hard and looking forward to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th ...............anniversary!
Yes, officially I cross the 1 year mark! A big pat on my shoulder. Clapping sounds and champagnes popping. :-)
Well, the past few days were also not that smooth sailing. Mywound on my butt got infected again and went to see a GP. He gave me antibiotics, antiseptic wash and cream. Luckily the medicine works. Otherwise, I would have to go back to SGH and get the surgeon to cut the wound and clean the infection.
Recently, I have been getting chest pain almost everyday and there is a particular spot on the chest that if I press, it will be painful. My last ECG and chest X-ray taken about 2-3 weeks ago showed normal. So, I also don't know what happen. Probably when the pain becomes so intense and I am perspiring, then I will check myself into A&E. The last time when I went to the walk-in clinic for the chest problem. I actually prepare a bag of toiletries, in case I was being admitted.
There has been some improvement in the bowel business. I have weaned myself off lactus (it's a medicine to soften the stool) and so far, except for 1 day no business, my bowel department has been working well. Swelling stomach has also improved. Goes to the toilet a little more frequent and with better flow. So, stomach has reduced swelling by a bit, and so is my weight. Within a week, my weight has dropped almost 3 kg. I hope this is all due to the water, but my stomach is still quite big.
I will continue to work hard and looking forward to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th ...............anniversary!
Lunch
18 October 2009, Sunday
It has been a long while that we are having a meal together as a family. Hubby has been working very late for the past weeks and sometimes, I hardly talk to him other than he asks me if my health condition is ok.
In the morning, hubby fetched us to the temple for the kids' activity in the temple and I stayed back to pray. The ambience is always very different from praying at home and time passes more quickly. My hubby left for his workplace and came back to pick us up.
We had lunch at Candele (hope I have got the right spelling). 2 pots of organic tea, pizza for kids, sandwich for me and pasta and stew for hubby. We also had a strawberry shortcake for dessert. Yummy!
I treasure moments like this. We usually eat homecooked food, as it is always the safer choice and my mother-in-law knows what are the dos and dont's for me. Her cooking is also good, but sometimes after a while, it gets a bit boring (must not let her know that I am "complaining"). I do like to go out occasionally and try out new food. Have not been to ION Orchard and Orchard Central and some other new malls on the street. Feel a bit mountain turtle. But I think, most importantly, is the moment that we share and the togetherness that I treasure the most.
It has been a long while that we are having a meal together as a family. Hubby has been working very late for the past weeks and sometimes, I hardly talk to him other than he asks me if my health condition is ok.
In the morning, hubby fetched us to the temple for the kids' activity in the temple and I stayed back to pray. The ambience is always very different from praying at home and time passes more quickly. My hubby left for his workplace and came back to pick us up.
We had lunch at Candele (hope I have got the right spelling). 2 pots of organic tea, pizza for kids, sandwich for me and pasta and stew for hubby. We also had a strawberry shortcake for dessert. Yummy!
I treasure moments like this. We usually eat homecooked food, as it is always the safer choice and my mother-in-law knows what are the dos and dont's for me. Her cooking is also good, but sometimes after a while, it gets a bit boring (must not let her know that I am "complaining"). I do like to go out occasionally and try out new food. Have not been to ION Orchard and Orchard Central and some other new malls on the street. Feel a bit mountain turtle. But I think, most importantly, is the moment that we share and the togetherness that I treasure the most.
Irony
18 October 2009, Sunday
Life is full of irony. When our health is in good shape, we take it for granted. Look at the number of smokers on the street, young and old, man and women and this includes the male relatives I have in my family. Luckily my hubby is not a smoker. If not, I would have kick him out!
Smoking is one of the cause for many types of cancers and other health problems, but smokers choose to ignore them. I always wonder why smokers burn their money and health away. If there is any smoker out there, please englighten me.
A relative of mine is suspected of having early stage of cervical cancer. But it is so preliminary that the doctor is not giving her any treatment. Only tell her to come back 6 weeks later. She did try the TCM doc whom I visited, but she does not take the medicine regularly. She told her mum that if the cancer really materialise, she will just commit suicide. I have told her that I am a living example of a cancer patient. She has not seen the worse yet. At the early stage and given that it is cervical cancer, she has very high survival rate, but she choose to ignore it.
Another relative is involved in a traffic accident and indirectly caused the deatth of a young girl (19 years old). He stubbornly insisted that he was not at fault. I told him, nonetheless, he had to be responsible for his rash act on the road. At the very least, he should offer prayer for the deceased, so that she can have an easier life in her next life. Till now, he still hasn't do it yet.
Not sure whether is it that I am getting old or what, I really cannot understand the mindset of the 20s. Did our parents have the same problems when we are in our 20s too?
Life is full of irony. When our health is in good shape, we take it for granted. Look at the number of smokers on the street, young and old, man and women and this includes the male relatives I have in my family. Luckily my hubby is not a smoker. If not, I would have kick him out!
Smoking is one of the cause for many types of cancers and other health problems, but smokers choose to ignore them. I always wonder why smokers burn their money and health away. If there is any smoker out there, please englighten me.
A relative of mine is suspected of having early stage of cervical cancer. But it is so preliminary that the doctor is not giving her any treatment. Only tell her to come back 6 weeks later. She did try the TCM doc whom I visited, but she does not take the medicine regularly. She told her mum that if the cancer really materialise, she will just commit suicide. I have told her that I am a living example of a cancer patient. She has not seen the worse yet. At the early stage and given that it is cervical cancer, she has very high survival rate, but she choose to ignore it.
Another relative is involved in a traffic accident and indirectly caused the deatth of a young girl (19 years old). He stubbornly insisted that he was not at fault. I told him, nonetheless, he had to be responsible for his rash act on the road. At the very least, he should offer prayer for the deceased, so that she can have an easier life in her next life. Till now, he still hasn't do it yet.
Not sure whether is it that I am getting old or what, I really cannot understand the mindset of the 20s. Did our parents have the same problems when we are in our 20s too?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Birthday
17 October 2009, Saturday
13 more days and it's my birthday, which is also my mum's 1st year death anniversary. My next appointment is scheduled on this day as well, but I tell the doctor that I don't want to see him on my birthday. So, he brings it forward to 28 October. Well, he is really an obliging doctor!
So many things have happened in this year. I have gone through many health obstacles and "garang" act (going to China for 2 weeks all by myself). I am really counting my blessing that I am still alive and kicking and typing this blog.
My gal has offered to buy me sushi on my birthday. I told her that we can buy takeaway, which is cheaper. But, she says that I deserve to eat in a restaruant on my special day. Very sweet thought from her. My son is going to buy me a cake. But he is clueless what cake to buy. So, he shows me the brochure from one of the cake shops in Sun Plaza (the nearest shopping mall in my estate) and asks me to choose. But my silly son doesn't realise that all the cakes minimum size is 1.7kg. How can we finish so much??!!
My birthday wish is that I can continue to stay healthy and be able to type this message again same time next year. :-)
13 more days and it's my birthday, which is also my mum's 1st year death anniversary. My next appointment is scheduled on this day as well, but I tell the doctor that I don't want to see him on my birthday. So, he brings it forward to 28 October. Well, he is really an obliging doctor!
So many things have happened in this year. I have gone through many health obstacles and "garang" act (going to China for 2 weeks all by myself). I am really counting my blessing that I am still alive and kicking and typing this blog.
My gal has offered to buy me sushi on my birthday. I told her that we can buy takeaway, which is cheaper. But, she says that I deserve to eat in a restaruant on my special day. Very sweet thought from her. My son is going to buy me a cake. But he is clueless what cake to buy. So, he shows me the brochure from one of the cake shops in Sun Plaza (the nearest shopping mall in my estate) and asks me to choose. But my silly son doesn't realise that all the cakes minimum size is 1.7kg. How can we finish so much??!!
My birthday wish is that I can continue to stay healthy and be able to type this message again same time next year. :-)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
First year anniversary
12 October 2009, Monday
5 more days and I would have crossed the 1st year anniversary. The oncologist said that only 20% of bile duct cancer cross this line and many of them would have been either on wheel-chaired or bed-ridden. Hence, he is quite pleased with my results and I can walk into his clinic unaided.
My latest tumor marker has dropped from 255 (in Sep) to 159. Liver and kidney are still functioning well, although the liver shows some increase in the cell damage and I have some protein deficiency. I hope that the current cocktail of oral chemo drugs will work better and the tumor marker will continue to slide downwards, and not like the earlier treatment, where it drops quite a bit in the first cycle and then stagnant for awhile and bounce back up again. Fingers crossed
This one year has not been easy for me. But of course, there are other cancer patients who suffer much worse side effects than me. I am already very blessed that the cancer cells are still contained within the original spot in the bile duct, liver and lymph nodes and have not spread to the other major organs, given that bile duct cancer is a fast acting cancer. It is suspected that my lungs may also have been infected, but the doctor is still not sure at this point in time. Those new cancer cells discovered during the year are isolated in the liver. I am still "pregnant" with water retention. Doctor has given me water to pee. Not much results yet, but hope that it will work.
Last week, I was in the hospital to visit a friend's husband. He also has bile duct cancer. He had his liver cut in Feb 09, got better for a few months and there is a relapse. He has been hospitalised for 2 months already and the doctor told the family that chemo is out for him now. If his liver stop functioning, he will enter into coma and pass on in a couple of hours. It really sadden me, as we are having the same type of cancer. When he was first diagnosed, it was only in stage 1 and within months, things turn for the worse. I am really very blessed that I started on a higher baseline (stage 4) and still coping well for the time being. I must thank my religion for giving me the strength to carry on fighting this battle.
I also like to thank all my friends for their well wishes during this one year. I will continue fighting and not let the cancer cells have a good time. I have already beaten the odds of 1 to 5. I am targeting to be that 1 out of 20 who survive beyond 5 years from diagnosis.
5 more days and I would have crossed the 1st year anniversary. The oncologist said that only 20% of bile duct cancer cross this line and many of them would have been either on wheel-chaired or bed-ridden. Hence, he is quite pleased with my results and I can walk into his clinic unaided.
My latest tumor marker has dropped from 255 (in Sep) to 159. Liver and kidney are still functioning well, although the liver shows some increase in the cell damage and I have some protein deficiency. I hope that the current cocktail of oral chemo drugs will work better and the tumor marker will continue to slide downwards, and not like the earlier treatment, where it drops quite a bit in the first cycle and then stagnant for awhile and bounce back up again. Fingers crossed
This one year has not been easy for me. But of course, there are other cancer patients who suffer much worse side effects than me. I am already very blessed that the cancer cells are still contained within the original spot in the bile duct, liver and lymph nodes and have not spread to the other major organs, given that bile duct cancer is a fast acting cancer. It is suspected that my lungs may also have been infected, but the doctor is still not sure at this point in time. Those new cancer cells discovered during the year are isolated in the liver. I am still "pregnant" with water retention. Doctor has given me water to pee. Not much results yet, but hope that it will work.
Last week, I was in the hospital to visit a friend's husband. He also has bile duct cancer. He had his liver cut in Feb 09, got better for a few months and there is a relapse. He has been hospitalised for 2 months already and the doctor told the family that chemo is out for him now. If his liver stop functioning, he will enter into coma and pass on in a couple of hours. It really sadden me, as we are having the same type of cancer. When he was first diagnosed, it was only in stage 1 and within months, things turn for the worse. I am really very blessed that I started on a higher baseline (stage 4) and still coping well for the time being. I must thank my religion for giving me the strength to carry on fighting this battle.
I also like to thank all my friends for their well wishes during this one year. I will continue fighting and not let the cancer cells have a good time. I have already beaten the odds of 1 to 5. I am targeting to be that 1 out of 20 who survive beyond 5 years from diagnosis.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Rainy days
21 Sep, 2009 Monday
Just had another PET scan done last Thursday. That's my 6th done within a year. Test results were not wonderful.
The lymph nodes in the abdomen hasbecome more active, and there is water retention in the stomach. Likely a leakage from the liver. As such, I am having a lot of wind and water in my stomach. My stomach now swell like as though I am 5 months pregnant. It can be so bad at times that it affects my appetite and everytime I beat my tummy, I am beating a drum with the "pong pong' sound. The liver cancer mass has also grown, although the cancer activity has been stabilised. This had caused the compression of the organs in the stomach area and caused pain at the gastric point and it permeates through to the back bone. Now, I am on a stronger version of the morphine pill, at 12 hours interval. If I am a bit late, the pain will hit me. Now, I am like a drug addict, must take the painkiller punctually. There is also come cancer activity pickup at the right lung, which in anyway, has previously been reported, but this time there is cancer activity pickup.
The good news is that the cancer has not spread to my other organs, such as bone, stomach, spleen and kidney. Initially, I thought the back pain arises because the cancer has spread to the bone.
My oncologist looked at the computer image and thinks that it is not as bad as that being reported in the PET scan report. I am now back on oral chemo medication, a cocktail of a combination of my earlier cocktails. But the medication makes me tire easily. I will have to take a nap at least once in the day, and will be on bed by 10pm.
My TCM doc has a more pessimistic view. My pulse is weak. So, she added some stuff in my TCM medicine to boost me up.
I believe the rainy days are temporary and the sun will come up again, and perhaps with rainbow too. The pain will not always be there. I need to maintain calm and always have a positive mind. This is important ingredient for me to fight back. Otherwise, my immunity will be weak and the cancer cells will be popping champagne and grow their children and grandchildren. I am going to give them a good fight!
Just had another PET scan done last Thursday. That's my 6th done within a year. Test results were not wonderful.
The lymph nodes in the abdomen hasbecome more active, and there is water retention in the stomach. Likely a leakage from the liver. As such, I am having a lot of wind and water in my stomach. My stomach now swell like as though I am 5 months pregnant. It can be so bad at times that it affects my appetite and everytime I beat my tummy, I am beating a drum with the "pong pong' sound. The liver cancer mass has also grown, although the cancer activity has been stabilised. This had caused the compression of the organs in the stomach area and caused pain at the gastric point and it permeates through to the back bone. Now, I am on a stronger version of the morphine pill, at 12 hours interval. If I am a bit late, the pain will hit me. Now, I am like a drug addict, must take the painkiller punctually. There is also come cancer activity pickup at the right lung, which in anyway, has previously been reported, but this time there is cancer activity pickup.
The good news is that the cancer has not spread to my other organs, such as bone, stomach, spleen and kidney. Initially, I thought the back pain arises because the cancer has spread to the bone.
My oncologist looked at the computer image and thinks that it is not as bad as that being reported in the PET scan report. I am now back on oral chemo medication, a cocktail of a combination of my earlier cocktails. But the medication makes me tire easily. I will have to take a nap at least once in the day, and will be on bed by 10pm.
My TCM doc has a more pessimistic view. My pulse is weak. So, she added some stuff in my TCM medicine to boost me up.
I believe the rainy days are temporary and the sun will come up again, and perhaps with rainbow too. The pain will not always be there. I need to maintain calm and always have a positive mind. This is important ingredient for me to fight back. Otherwise, my immunity will be weak and the cancer cells will be popping champagne and grow their children and grandchildren. I am going to give them a good fight!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Chicken pox
30 August, 2009 Sunday
Angeline is coping well with her chicken pox episode. She does not feel lethargy. Only 1 or 2 episodes of fever. During the day, she would quietly do her painting, reading and her own stuff and did not disturb me. Of course, she feels alenated as she has to avoid physical contact from me. But otherwise she is ok. On 2 days, she actually put on a hair band and clean her toys. Well, she was duly rewarded by the grandmother.
Alvin has so far not show any sign of chicken pox yet. The doctor says that the incubation is 1-3 weeks. So, the verdict will be out soon.
Alvin has performed better in his CA2 exam, compared to 1st half of the year. He finally passed his Chineses main paper, scoring 53/75. A much improvement, as he has been failing it since the beginning of the year. Also, his English main paper has shown improvement, scoring 50.5/65. Really must thank the tutors' efforts for giving him extra lessons, and the tutors are very kind that they do not charge us extra for the additional classes. Maths paper is not back yet, but I am not worry as Maths has always been his strongest subject.
Angeline is coping well with her chicken pox episode. She does not feel lethargy. Only 1 or 2 episodes of fever. During the day, she would quietly do her painting, reading and her own stuff and did not disturb me. Of course, she feels alenated as she has to avoid physical contact from me. But otherwise she is ok. On 2 days, she actually put on a hair band and clean her toys. Well, she was duly rewarded by the grandmother.
Alvin has so far not show any sign of chicken pox yet. The doctor says that the incubation is 1-3 weeks. So, the verdict will be out soon.
Alvin has performed better in his CA2 exam, compared to 1st half of the year. He finally passed his Chineses main paper, scoring 53/75. A much improvement, as he has been failing it since the beginning of the year. Also, his English main paper has shown improvement, scoring 50.5/65. Really must thank the tutors' efforts for giving him extra lessons, and the tutors are very kind that they do not charge us extra for the additional classes. Maths paper is not back yet, but I am not worry as Maths has always been his strongest subject.
Life partner
30 August, 2009 Sunday
Many a times, we complain about our spouse and wish that we are not married and get into all this marital mess. If you asked me one year ago, I would have agreed totally. But now, my perspective has changed.
For the last 2 hospitalisation, I was glad that my hubby was with me and sent me to the hospital. Otherwise, not sure how to handle the kids at home, or I may have to go to hospital alone. Sure to feel lousy, as already in pain and no company. Luckily, Anthony was back from his business trip and was able to be there with me.
As we age, we need a pillar of strength. Our spouse is our pillar of strength. And of course, without him, I cannot have produce my lovely twins. When I was in the hospital, I witnessed old couple, usually the husband (since I was in the women's ward) will come to visit their wife daily without fail. It is so heart warming. We never know who will be the weaker half, but whatever it is, we need each other for the support. As we grow old, the children will leave us and lead their own life. It will be just you and your spouse, giving each other physical, mental and moral support. Do not underestimate this and think that it's ok, I have other friends and family members to support. The feeling is different.
So, ladies out there. Stop complaining about your husband and learn to appreciate the better part of him. Otherwise, we would not have marry them, right?
Many a times, we complain about our spouse and wish that we are not married and get into all this marital mess. If you asked me one year ago, I would have agreed totally. But now, my perspective has changed.
For the last 2 hospitalisation, I was glad that my hubby was with me and sent me to the hospital. Otherwise, not sure how to handle the kids at home, or I may have to go to hospital alone. Sure to feel lousy, as already in pain and no company. Luckily, Anthony was back from his business trip and was able to be there with me.
As we age, we need a pillar of strength. Our spouse is our pillar of strength. And of course, without him, I cannot have produce my lovely twins. When I was in the hospital, I witnessed old couple, usually the husband (since I was in the women's ward) will come to visit their wife daily without fail. It is so heart warming. We never know who will be the weaker half, but whatever it is, we need each other for the support. As we grow old, the children will leave us and lead their own life. It will be just you and your spouse, giving each other physical, mental and moral support. Do not underestimate this and think that it's ok, I have other friends and family members to support. The feeling is different.
So, ladies out there. Stop complaining about your husband and learn to appreciate the better part of him. Otherwise, we would not have marry them, right?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hospitalisation again
25 Aug, 2009 Tuesday
Yes, I was hosiptalised again, barely 2 weeks home. This time is due to a pus which grows next to my anus. We went to SGH A&E on 15 Aug, thinking that it was just some lump growth and the doctor would give me some cream and medicine, then we could go home. The doctor said that it was abyss and need surgery to remove it. Also, given that my immunity is compromised, they have to be careful about it. So, I was admitted. I chose to use antibiotics to shrink the pus, but after 2 days it got worse. So, no choice, opted for surgery and I was on the surgery table on Monday afternoon, under GA.
The surgeon told me that there were 5 cm of pus. Yucks! In the course of next few days that I was in the hospital, the wound heal well. My mother in law was very kind to come to the hosital consecutively for 3 days to learn to do dressing for me. Otherwise, when I am discharged, I would have to go to GP, which is a 10 mins walk from home. Also, given that the position is located in the dirty area, it gets soiled easily. So, it is more convenient for mother-in-law to do it. She is a really great lady. I can't do without her.
Just when I thought that I was ready to be discharged on Saturday, my princess at home was down with chicken pox. So, the oncologist, on the safe side, prescibes anti-fungal as a protection against chicken pox. In addition, I took a blood test to see how strong is my immunity against chicken pox. If it is not high enough, I will be given a vacination jab.
The blood test results was only out yesterday afternoon, after I agreed to pay 2.5x the normal price for the test. Otherwise, I need to be in hospital for another day. Thankfully, my immunity is high and can go home. Hurray!
Angeline is also progressing well with her chicken pox. By the time I reached home, her blisters (which number at least 200) have started to dry up. We have to maintain distance away from each other, avoiding physical contact. She has really been strong. Only 1 day of slight fever and she doesn't complain much. What a warrior!
Now that I am back home. can sleep better hours, although still wake up a few times throughout the sleep for toilet breaks, but I think should improve over the days. Chemo drip is on hold for the time being, until my wound heals, but I am still taking the oral medication and TCM herbs. Will be going back to see Dr Toh again on this Friday. Hope the tunour marker don't jump up again, since I am delaying the chemo drip.
Yes, I was hosiptalised again, barely 2 weeks home. This time is due to a pus which grows next to my anus. We went to SGH A&E on 15 Aug, thinking that it was just some lump growth and the doctor would give me some cream and medicine, then we could go home. The doctor said that it was abyss and need surgery to remove it. Also, given that my immunity is compromised, they have to be careful about it. So, I was admitted. I chose to use antibiotics to shrink the pus, but after 2 days it got worse. So, no choice, opted for surgery and I was on the surgery table on Monday afternoon, under GA.
The surgeon told me that there were 5 cm of pus. Yucks! In the course of next few days that I was in the hospital, the wound heal well. My mother in law was very kind to come to the hosital consecutively for 3 days to learn to do dressing for me. Otherwise, when I am discharged, I would have to go to GP, which is a 10 mins walk from home. Also, given that the position is located in the dirty area, it gets soiled easily. So, it is more convenient for mother-in-law to do it. She is a really great lady. I can't do without her.
Just when I thought that I was ready to be discharged on Saturday, my princess at home was down with chicken pox. So, the oncologist, on the safe side, prescibes anti-fungal as a protection against chicken pox. In addition, I took a blood test to see how strong is my immunity against chicken pox. If it is not high enough, I will be given a vacination jab.
The blood test results was only out yesterday afternoon, after I agreed to pay 2.5x the normal price for the test. Otherwise, I need to be in hospital for another day. Thankfully, my immunity is high and can go home. Hurray!
Angeline is also progressing well with her chicken pox. By the time I reached home, her blisters (which number at least 200) have started to dry up. We have to maintain distance away from each other, avoiding physical contact. She has really been strong. Only 1 day of slight fever and she doesn't complain much. What a warrior!
Now that I am back home. can sleep better hours, although still wake up a few times throughout the sleep for toilet breaks, but I think should improve over the days. Chemo drip is on hold for the time being, until my wound heals, but I am still taking the oral medication and TCM herbs. Will be going back to see Dr Toh again on this Friday. Hope the tunour marker don't jump up again, since I am delaying the chemo drip.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Health is very important
14 August, 2009 Friday
Got more energy lately, but it only lasted till evening. By night time, energy level drops to zero. So, I will back in bed by 9pm to 10pm. Sweating still continues. Doc says that is the side effect of the new chemo drug that I am taking.
I was back at the NCC clinic on last Tuesday. Gastric point pain really bothers me throughout the day. It can come anytime (including middle of the night) and the magnitude can also differ. Also feel nauseated, particularly during dinner time and poor appetite. Doc increases the dosage of my regular painkiller and add another one to be used on when necessary basis. Also, he gives me another anti-vomit medicine.
The gastric point pain seems to settle down after I increase the dosage of the painkiller. But the nausea feeling is really getting to my nerve. It feels like as though I am pregnant. Appetite still not back to the usual yet, particularly dinner. It is a chore for me to eat dinner now as I tend to feel like vomitting. Energy level at night is also bad. Want to help kids with their CA2 preparation also got no energy.
Have lost 2-3 kg over the last month. I have stopped my mediation for now. Not sure if it is the cause of all this upset. I never felt so down since the start of the chemo last year. So, I am back to chanting religiously, targeting 4 hours everyday. Will be going to Tokyo on next Thursday 20 Aug for 5 days for pilgrimage. Hope things will improve from then on.
From this episode, it really wakes me up. I have been having a relatively easier time until June 09 and health starts to deteriorate a bit. Energy level not back to usual self yet. So pals, sorry can't have lunch in town with you gals & guys until I recover better.
A lot of time, we tend to take things for granted. Health, family, friendship are all important to us, but we often neglect them in the pursuit of career and wealth. Need to strike a balance (although easier said than done) before it is too late!
Got more energy lately, but it only lasted till evening. By night time, energy level drops to zero. So, I will back in bed by 9pm to 10pm. Sweating still continues. Doc says that is the side effect of the new chemo drug that I am taking.
I was back at the NCC clinic on last Tuesday. Gastric point pain really bothers me throughout the day. It can come anytime (including middle of the night) and the magnitude can also differ. Also feel nauseated, particularly during dinner time and poor appetite. Doc increases the dosage of my regular painkiller and add another one to be used on when necessary basis. Also, he gives me another anti-vomit medicine.
The gastric point pain seems to settle down after I increase the dosage of the painkiller. But the nausea feeling is really getting to my nerve. It feels like as though I am pregnant. Appetite still not back to the usual yet, particularly dinner. It is a chore for me to eat dinner now as I tend to feel like vomitting. Energy level at night is also bad. Want to help kids with their CA2 preparation also got no energy.
Have lost 2-3 kg over the last month. I have stopped my mediation for now. Not sure if it is the cause of all this upset. I never felt so down since the start of the chemo last year. So, I am back to chanting religiously, targeting 4 hours everyday. Will be going to Tokyo on next Thursday 20 Aug for 5 days for pilgrimage. Hope things will improve from then on.
From this episode, it really wakes me up. I have been having a relatively easier time until June 09 and health starts to deteriorate a bit. Energy level not back to usual self yet. So pals, sorry can't have lunch in town with you gals & guys until I recover better.
A lot of time, we tend to take things for granted. Health, family, friendship are all important to us, but we often neglect them in the pursuit of career and wealth. Need to strike a balance (although easier said than done) before it is too late!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Progress update
8 Aug 2009, Saturday
It has been a while since I last update the blog. Haven't been well, so no energy to write.
The diarrhoea situation improved since I was discharged from the hospital on 29 Jul. Appetite improves progressively and I started to take solid food on last Sunday. Well, the good situation only last for 2 days.
On Wednesday (5 Aug), I was back to see Dr Toh. The tumor marker went up from 143 to 333. Not surprising, since I was off from the cancer drugs for 2 weeks because of my diarrhoea. Dr Toh changed the chemo drugs. Now, I need to be on drip for 2.5 hours every 2 weeks at NCC, where 2 types of chemo drugs will be administered intravenously one after another. In addition, I continue my oral cancer drug.
After the drip on Wednesday afternoon, Anthony said my face looked as pale as a sheet of white paper. I was also having gastric pain. But actually the pain comes from the compression of the organs in the upper abdomen and it sends the pain sense to the gastric spot. Really tough on that day. Also, the new chemo drug has a side effect of causing numbness and pain on the hand where the drip is poked. Even until today, I can still feel some pain and numbness sensation.
On Thursday, I had low grade fever. Pop fever medicine twice, then it settled down. Been sleeping a lot, particularly in the afternoon, as my sleep at night is disturbed by nature calls. Hence, feel lethargic on most part of the day.
Also, I have been sweating a lot. Regardless of the weather condition or whatever thing that I am doing (or sometime doing nothing), I perspire a lot until my hair is wet, as though I have just finished washing my hair.
Last night, there were 2 episodes of diarrhoea. I quickly took the anti-diarrhoea medicine last night and this morning. Hope it will work. Nonetheless, at least when I woke up this morning, I feel that I seem to have more energy compared to the last few days. Maybe it is the National Day feeling, so energy level also improves. Ha! Ha!
It has been a while since I last update the blog. Haven't been well, so no energy to write.
The diarrhoea situation improved since I was discharged from the hospital on 29 Jul. Appetite improves progressively and I started to take solid food on last Sunday. Well, the good situation only last for 2 days.
On Wednesday (5 Aug), I was back to see Dr Toh. The tumor marker went up from 143 to 333. Not surprising, since I was off from the cancer drugs for 2 weeks because of my diarrhoea. Dr Toh changed the chemo drugs. Now, I need to be on drip for 2.5 hours every 2 weeks at NCC, where 2 types of chemo drugs will be administered intravenously one after another. In addition, I continue my oral cancer drug.
After the drip on Wednesday afternoon, Anthony said my face looked as pale as a sheet of white paper. I was also having gastric pain. But actually the pain comes from the compression of the organs in the upper abdomen and it sends the pain sense to the gastric spot. Really tough on that day. Also, the new chemo drug has a side effect of causing numbness and pain on the hand where the drip is poked. Even until today, I can still feel some pain and numbness sensation.
On Thursday, I had low grade fever. Pop fever medicine twice, then it settled down. Been sleeping a lot, particularly in the afternoon, as my sleep at night is disturbed by nature calls. Hence, feel lethargic on most part of the day.
Also, I have been sweating a lot. Regardless of the weather condition or whatever thing that I am doing (or sometime doing nothing), I perspire a lot until my hair is wet, as though I have just finished washing my hair.
Last night, there were 2 episodes of diarrhoea. I quickly took the anti-diarrhoea medicine last night and this morning. Hope it will work. Nonetheless, at least when I woke up this morning, I feel that I seem to have more energy compared to the last few days. Maybe it is the National Day feeling, so energy level also improves. Ha! Ha!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Hospitalisation
30 Jul, 2009 Thursday
I finally got myself admitted into SGH, after 8 days of diahorrea. My girlfriend says that I have a high threshold for pain. Ha! Ha! Actually, I scared to go hospital, knowing that I will be admitted. True enough, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, from 24 Jul to 29 Jul.
Initial diagnosis was intestine infection. But all the tests done shows negative. Nonetheless, I was treated with 2 course of antibiotics and 2 types of anit-diahorrea medication.
The cancer medication and TCM medicine are stopped for the time being, for fear that it might trigger the diahorrea again, particularly the western medicine which list diahorrea as a possible side effect. TCM doc thinks that it is not likely her medication that trigger it. So, will resume TCM medication tomorrow.
The PET scan results was a mixed bag of results. Some cancer cells got improvement or stabilised, and some shows some deterioration. 2 new cancer cells spotted on the liver. So, the oncologist has to change the current cocktail of medication. With each change of medication, the costs just doubled. It costs approx $3K+ for every 3 weeks of chemo drugs. Then it increased to $5K+. Now, just for the new drug alone (one 1 type), it costs $2K for 1 dosage of medication for 2 weeks. And the doc will increase to 2 dosage per day. Luckily, I have the insurance company to cover most of the costs. Otherwise, will be bankrupt soon. So, friends, please go and review all your insurance policies, particularly on H&S to make sure that you are adequately covered (not that I am cursing you, but you never know what might happen).
I finally got myself admitted into SGH, after 8 days of diahorrea. My girlfriend says that I have a high threshold for pain. Ha! Ha! Actually, I scared to go hospital, knowing that I will be admitted. True enough, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, from 24 Jul to 29 Jul.
Initial diagnosis was intestine infection. But all the tests done shows negative. Nonetheless, I was treated with 2 course of antibiotics and 2 types of anit-diahorrea medication.
The cancer medication and TCM medicine are stopped for the time being, for fear that it might trigger the diahorrea again, particularly the western medicine which list diahorrea as a possible side effect. TCM doc thinks that it is not likely her medication that trigger it. So, will resume TCM medication tomorrow.
The PET scan results was a mixed bag of results. Some cancer cells got improvement or stabilised, and some shows some deterioration. 2 new cancer cells spotted on the liver. So, the oncologist has to change the current cocktail of medication. With each change of medication, the costs just doubled. It costs approx $3K+ for every 3 weeks of chemo drugs. Then it increased to $5K+. Now, just for the new drug alone (one 1 type), it costs $2K for 1 dosage of medication for 2 weeks. And the doc will increase to 2 dosage per day. Luckily, I have the insurance company to cover most of the costs. Otherwise, will be bankrupt soon. So, friends, please go and review all your insurance policies, particularly on H&S to make sure that you are adequately covered (not that I am cursing you, but you never know what might happen).
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I'm back!
20 Jul, Monday
Actually I have been back for a week already. But have been feeling unwell since last Wednesday. I have bloated stomach. Doc (TCM and oncologist) reckon that it is water retention. TCM doc thinks that it might have been a worsening of the condition in my body. Will have to wait till Wednesday to know the results from the PET scan that I will be doing tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
When I saw the oncologist on last Sat, he was actually quite pleased with my blood test results. Tumor marker has dropped from 193 to 148. But, I was wheelchaired into his room. I have been having diarrhoea since last Thursday. 10 times on Thursday, 7 times on Friday, 5 times on Saturday and 7 times on Sunday. Pengsan! The diahorrea is caused by the TCM medicine, which tries to help to purge the water out from my stomach. But, even though I only took like 1.5 dosage, it continues to purge out. TCM doc says it's because my intestines has become sensitive. So, willl purge out more. Strangely, the Western medicine given to me to help me to pass urine, so as to get the fluid out, does not seem to have the same effective effect as the TCM medicine.
Luckily, all these happen after I return from Lanzhou. Can't imagine who could take care of me if I have really fallen sick there. In Lanzhou, my itineary is do nothing but meditation. Morning 8.30 to 11.30, butt on the chair to meditate, with 10 mins break after each 40mins session. After break from lunch, I will usually go back to hotel room for 1 hour of prayer and quick nap. Then, it is back to the school for the action (a bit like taiji stuff) at 3pm. After lesson ends at 4.30pm, we usually stay back to practice until 5pm, then go for dinner and buy bread for my breakfast and supper and bottled water. I bought so much water until the boss recognise me. So, I ask for delivery. Save me the hassle. Evening lesson starts at 6.30pm with 30min to 45 min lecture and then follow by meditation again.
Honestly, the food there is not to my liking. Spicy, oily and salty. Still prefer my mother-in-law's cooking.
I actually never watch any TV prog when I was in Lanzhou. Only get to watch a bit of CNA when I had a stayover in the airport hotel in Guangzhou. The hotel (Pullman) is very good break after the Lanzhou stay, where the hotel room is not well lit. Well, a price for everything. In Lanzhou, it's a 3 star hotel (with dirty carpet) and in Guangzhou, it is a 5 star hotel.
The trip there is really like being out of touch of the earthly world. Don't know what has happened during these 2 weeks. Everyday is only about meditation. Thankfully, I have managed to clear the 2 main veins of my body, so that as I meditate more, the internal energy will be able to flow fluently throughout my body.
I am expected to meditate at least 5 hours daily. Sadly, haven't been able to achieve that since I return. At best, on average, it's 4 hours. This would mean a cut in my social lunch meetings with friends. Please bear with me for the time being. Need to stay focus on getting well first.
Praying very hard that tomorrow PET scan will produce good results and the doctors can figure out how to solve my stomach bloatedness.
Actually I have been back for a week already. But have been feeling unwell since last Wednesday. I have bloated stomach. Doc (TCM and oncologist) reckon that it is water retention. TCM doc thinks that it might have been a worsening of the condition in my body. Will have to wait till Wednesday to know the results from the PET scan that I will be doing tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
When I saw the oncologist on last Sat, he was actually quite pleased with my blood test results. Tumor marker has dropped from 193 to 148. But, I was wheelchaired into his room. I have been having diarrhoea since last Thursday. 10 times on Thursday, 7 times on Friday, 5 times on Saturday and 7 times on Sunday. Pengsan! The diahorrea is caused by the TCM medicine, which tries to help to purge the water out from my stomach. But, even though I only took like 1.5 dosage, it continues to purge out. TCM doc says it's because my intestines has become sensitive. So, willl purge out more. Strangely, the Western medicine given to me to help me to pass urine, so as to get the fluid out, does not seem to have the same effective effect as the TCM medicine.
Luckily, all these happen after I return from Lanzhou. Can't imagine who could take care of me if I have really fallen sick there. In Lanzhou, my itineary is do nothing but meditation. Morning 8.30 to 11.30, butt on the chair to meditate, with 10 mins break after each 40mins session. After break from lunch, I will usually go back to hotel room for 1 hour of prayer and quick nap. Then, it is back to the school for the action (a bit like taiji stuff) at 3pm. After lesson ends at 4.30pm, we usually stay back to practice until 5pm, then go for dinner and buy bread for my breakfast and supper and bottled water. I bought so much water until the boss recognise me. So, I ask for delivery. Save me the hassle. Evening lesson starts at 6.30pm with 30min to 45 min lecture and then follow by meditation again.
Honestly, the food there is not to my liking. Spicy, oily and salty. Still prefer my mother-in-law's cooking.
I actually never watch any TV prog when I was in Lanzhou. Only get to watch a bit of CNA when I had a stayover in the airport hotel in Guangzhou. The hotel (Pullman) is very good break after the Lanzhou stay, where the hotel room is not well lit. Well, a price for everything. In Lanzhou, it's a 3 star hotel (with dirty carpet) and in Guangzhou, it is a 5 star hotel.
The trip there is really like being out of touch of the earthly world. Don't know what has happened during these 2 weeks. Everyday is only about meditation. Thankfully, I have managed to clear the 2 main veins of my body, so that as I meditate more, the internal energy will be able to flow fluently throughout my body.
I am expected to meditate at least 5 hours daily. Sadly, haven't been able to achieve that since I return. At best, on average, it's 4 hours. This would mean a cut in my social lunch meetings with friends. Please bear with me for the time being. Need to stay focus on getting well first.
Praying very hard that tomorrow PET scan will produce good results and the doctors can figure out how to solve my stomach bloatedness.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Before the trip
28 June 2009, Sunday
I promised to write before my qigong retreat, so here it is.
Seen the oncologist on last Friday, 26 June. The tumor marker had gone up from 172 to 193, some of the indicators for liver has also inched out of the normal range, although it is still aceeptable by my oncologist's standard. Told him that if I pressed on my liver, I can feel some pain. This seems like a repeat of the midway chemo treatment, a prelude that the medicine could be losing its effect. Nonetheless, the oncologist continued with the same treatment for the 5th cycle. Will do a PET scan after the 6th cycle. So, that is likely in Aug.
I developed a bad throat infection overnight on Thursday. So, the oncologist gave me a course of antibiotics. I also hurried to see my TCM doc. She also gave me a new set of medicine. It seems to work on Saturday, but it then develops into cough. As I am typing now, I ams still nursing my cough. Most likely catch it from my husband, who has been coughing for almost a month.
I promised to write before my qigong retreat, so here it is.
Seen the oncologist on last Friday, 26 June. The tumor marker had gone up from 172 to 193, some of the indicators for liver has also inched out of the normal range, although it is still aceeptable by my oncologist's standard. Told him that if I pressed on my liver, I can feel some pain. This seems like a repeat of the midway chemo treatment, a prelude that the medicine could be losing its effect. Nonetheless, the oncologist continued with the same treatment for the 5th cycle. Will do a PET scan after the 6th cycle. So, that is likely in Aug.
I developed a bad throat infection overnight on Thursday. So, the oncologist gave me a course of antibiotics. I also hurried to see my TCM doc. She also gave me a new set of medicine. It seems to work on Saturday, but it then develops into cough. As I am typing now, I ams still nursing my cough. Most likely catch it from my husband, who has been coughing for almost a month.
Maybe I had gone through a cycle of "downturn", knowing that the medicine may not be effective all the time; or perhaps, I am more mentally prepared this time; or I have been praying everyday for calmness and strength in the face of my illness, so that even if I receive unfavourable test results, I still maintain my calmness and composure.
Perhaps this qigong retreat that I am going alone is a journey that I need to undertake. I need to master the skill, so that I can use my own internal strength to heal my own illness. There will be some point in time that the western medicine may not work for me anymore. I need to depend on myself to heal myself. I sincerely pray that I can succeed in this trip and return safely back to Singapore on 13 Jul.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Ulcers and blister
15 Jun, 2009 Monday
The ulcers and blister are becoming a pain in the ass for me. Ok, not so much for the latter, as it comes one after another on my fingers. But the ulcers are really killing me. It started with 3 ulcers at one go. Then it healed and I had 1 week break. Another ulcer came and went and then another pop up. This time, when the latest addition has not recovered, I have 3 ulcers attack. Today, another new member just joined in. It is really pain, pain, pain!
Not sure if this is the outcome of my greediness. You see, now is the durian season. I cannot resist the temption, especially everytime when I go to the temple, I will definitely walk past this durain stall. So, on Saturday, I ate 3 seeds (actually 2.5, one is a mini size). And then guess what, the ulcers appear. :-(
Lesson learn: never touch durian again!
The ulcers and blister are becoming a pain in the ass for me. Ok, not so much for the latter, as it comes one after another on my fingers. But the ulcers are really killing me. It started with 3 ulcers at one go. Then it healed and I had 1 week break. Another ulcer came and went and then another pop up. This time, when the latest addition has not recovered, I have 3 ulcers attack. Today, another new member just joined in. It is really pain, pain, pain!
Not sure if this is the outcome of my greediness. You see, now is the durian season. I cannot resist the temption, especially everytime when I go to the temple, I will definitely walk past this durain stall. So, on Saturday, I ate 3 seeds (actually 2.5, one is a mini size). And then guess what, the ulcers appear. :-(
Lesson learn: never touch durian again!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Update on qigong
11 Jun, 2009 Thursday
I had cleared the first step of the qigong last week. Hooray! Got 4 more steps to go. So, now into step 2.
I am in the progress of making plans to go to Lanzhou (somewhere near Sichuan) bet 29 Jun to 13 Jul, to learn the skill from the founding school. My TCM highly recommends that I should make a trip to the school, as it will help to expeditate in my learning curve. Also, since now my health condition is stabilised, it is good that I boost my immunity through my own internal strength. She thinks that there is very little that the western medicine can help in my illness, after my current treatment loses its effect. So, will have to depend on myself, rather than through external medication, to combat these naughty girls and boys who are misbehaving inside my body.
So, I will be away for 2 weeks. Don't miss me much. I will still continue to update my blog before my trip.
I had cleared the first step of the qigong last week. Hooray! Got 4 more steps to go. So, now into step 2.
I am in the progress of making plans to go to Lanzhou (somewhere near Sichuan) bet 29 Jun to 13 Jul, to learn the skill from the founding school. My TCM highly recommends that I should make a trip to the school, as it will help to expeditate in my learning curve. Also, since now my health condition is stabilised, it is good that I boost my immunity through my own internal strength. She thinks that there is very little that the western medicine can help in my illness, after my current treatment loses its effect. So, will have to depend on myself, rather than through external medication, to combat these naughty girls and boys who are misbehaving inside my body.
So, I will be away for 2 weeks. Don't miss me much. I will still continue to update my blog before my trip.
My boy has grown up!
11 June 2009, Thursday
Since last week, we decided to let my boy to go to his tuition class by himself, which is in the nearby Community Club, about 5-10 mins walk from home. Also, he has become the "escort" to ferry the sister to and fro from her class in the same location. He has not failed us yet. Good job, son! :-)
Looks like he has grown up and we need to let go for him to be more independent.
The other day, he was telling me that he always depended on me to help him with his schoolwork. So, I asked him, what if mum is no longer around? He said, then "mei mei" (Angeline) will help him with his work. Wonder where is my hubby's role in his schoolwork arena?
Since last week, we decided to let my boy to go to his tuition class by himself, which is in the nearby Community Club, about 5-10 mins walk from home. Also, he has become the "escort" to ferry the sister to and fro from her class in the same location. He has not failed us yet. Good job, son! :-)
Looks like he has grown up and we need to let go for him to be more independent.
The other day, he was telling me that he always depended on me to help him with his schoolwork. So, I asked him, what if mum is no longer around? He said, then "mei mei" (Angeline) will help him with his work. Wonder where is my hubby's role in his schoolwork arena?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Missing in Action?
6 June, Saturday
Sorry for not updating my blog. Didn't realise that it has been a few weeks ago that I last updated.
Just got my blood tests results yesterday. The tumor marker has dropped from 188 to 172. Still a long way to go, but as long as it is going southwards, I can still continue with the same treatment. Some of the liver indicators and white blood cells are slightly out of range, but it is still acceptable. Yesterday, I didn't get to see Dr Toh. It was a registrar who seen me. I asked him how long would I need to continue on the current treatment, he said I would continue until it loses its effect, which can be detected through the tumor marker. I like this current treatment. It gives me more energy, although there are some minor side effects, such as blisters on my hand and fingers and mouth ulcers. These side effects are still bearable. :-)
Have been really busy lately, with kids now on school holidays. Have to think of activities to keep them occupied. I must say that they are quite obedient. Still willing to do work during the school holidays. Dig out my son's old kumon worksheets and they are willing to do it. Will need to work on my son's weak areas, such as English writing and comprehension and Chinese; and my daughter to get her to brush up her Chinese too.
We also went for a movie treat, Monsters vs Aliens. Quite a funny show. The kids enjoyed it and we had Swenzens after that. Luckily the kids didn't have cough after that. Otherwise, I will get the blame, as my kids have weak lungs as they tend to develop cough after eating cold stuff.
I am also into the qigong. Cleared the 1st step. 4 more steps to go and this is only just the beginning. According to those who return from the Chinese school, the teacher says that one must practice for 5 hours daily, so that it can cure the illness. Wow, this is like working, man!
Sorry for not updating my blog. Didn't realise that it has been a few weeks ago that I last updated.
Just got my blood tests results yesterday. The tumor marker has dropped from 188 to 172. Still a long way to go, but as long as it is going southwards, I can still continue with the same treatment. Some of the liver indicators and white blood cells are slightly out of range, but it is still acceptable. Yesterday, I didn't get to see Dr Toh. It was a registrar who seen me. I asked him how long would I need to continue on the current treatment, he said I would continue until it loses its effect, which can be detected through the tumor marker. I like this current treatment. It gives me more energy, although there are some minor side effects, such as blisters on my hand and fingers and mouth ulcers. These side effects are still bearable. :-)
Have been really busy lately, with kids now on school holidays. Have to think of activities to keep them occupied. I must say that they are quite obedient. Still willing to do work during the school holidays. Dig out my son's old kumon worksheets and they are willing to do it. Will need to work on my son's weak areas, such as English writing and comprehension and Chinese; and my daughter to get her to brush up her Chinese too.
We also went for a movie treat, Monsters vs Aliens. Quite a funny show. The kids enjoyed it and we had Swenzens after that. Luckily the kids didn't have cough after that. Otherwise, I will get the blame, as my kids have weak lungs as they tend to develop cough after eating cold stuff.
I am also into the qigong. Cleared the 1st step. 4 more steps to go and this is only just the beginning. According to those who return from the Chinese school, the teacher says that one must practice for 5 hours daily, so that it can cure the illness. Wow, this is like working, man!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Qigong
19 May 2009, Tuesday
My TCM doc asks me to consider practising qigong, as an alternative treatment. All medicine that I am taking, are external factors. One day, they may lose its effect. Qigong is to use the internal strength within myself, to boost immunity system.
There are a few case studies in the literature that she gave me, that shows that qigong helps to prolong the life of the patients. She showed me the first step and asked me to practise.
I guess I am at a stage that anything that can work, I will try. I trust my TCM doc. She has accurately diagnosed the problems areas for patients, which western doctors may not be able to pick up immediately. First hand experience from myself on the blood test report and also experience from another cancer patient friend. She practises it herself today. For her, since she does not have any illness, she says the effect is not much. But it is good for her to strengthen herself. For people with illness, she believes in the theory which has 2000 years history, can provide an alternative treatment. Although there is disclaimer that it may not work for everyone. I guess no harm trying.
Will start practising soon and share my experience with everyone at a later date.
My TCM doc asks me to consider practising qigong, as an alternative treatment. All medicine that I am taking, are external factors. One day, they may lose its effect. Qigong is to use the internal strength within myself, to boost immunity system.
There are a few case studies in the literature that she gave me, that shows that qigong helps to prolong the life of the patients. She showed me the first step and asked me to practise.
I guess I am at a stage that anything that can work, I will try. I trust my TCM doc. She has accurately diagnosed the problems areas for patients, which western doctors may not be able to pick up immediately. First hand experience from myself on the blood test report and also experience from another cancer patient friend. She practises it herself today. For her, since she does not have any illness, she says the effect is not much. But it is good for her to strengthen herself. For people with illness, she believes in the theory which has 2000 years history, can provide an alternative treatment. Although there is disclaimer that it may not work for everyone. I guess no harm trying.
Will start practising soon and share my experience with everyone at a later date.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Exams are finally over!
18 May 2009, Monday
Aren't I glad that the exams are finally over! I am more relieved than my kids. I have always been more worried about my son's language subjects, as it has never been his forte. I must say that during the last 2 weeks, he had worked very hard, together with me, to do exam papers from the top schools and he didn't fare too badly. I hope his school results will be better than his CA1, where his results were dismay. As for my gal, she has always been the academic sort and I usually don't have to worry too much about her, as long as she does not commit careless mistakes. But, anyway, who doesn't?
Brought the kids for a good Japanese lunch at AMK HUB, and we headed to Wild Wild Wet, where they played a few hours together with their cousin. Me, of course, is out of bound for pool, as instructed by my TCM doc. So, I ended up reading my book in McCafe. Very comfortable and sipping warm milk.
Glad that the kids had enjoyed themselves at the Wild Wild Wet and they are already making plans for sleepover during the June school holidays.
I pray hard that their exam results will be decent. Can't help being a kiasu mum, as they will be streamed into P3 class, based on their this year results.
Aren't I glad that the exams are finally over! I am more relieved than my kids. I have always been more worried about my son's language subjects, as it has never been his forte. I must say that during the last 2 weeks, he had worked very hard, together with me, to do exam papers from the top schools and he didn't fare too badly. I hope his school results will be better than his CA1, where his results were dismay. As for my gal, she has always been the academic sort and I usually don't have to worry too much about her, as long as she does not commit careless mistakes. But, anyway, who doesn't?
Brought the kids for a good Japanese lunch at AMK HUB, and we headed to Wild Wild Wet, where they played a few hours together with their cousin. Me, of course, is out of bound for pool, as instructed by my TCM doc. So, I ended up reading my book in McCafe. Very comfortable and sipping warm milk.
Glad that the kids had enjoyed themselves at the Wild Wild Wet and they are already making plans for sleepover during the June school holidays.
I pray hard that their exam results will be decent. Can't help being a kiasu mum, as they will be streamed into P3 class, based on their this year results.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Mother's Day Present
13 May, 2009 Wednesday
I had an enjoyable time for Mother's Day this year. My daughter drew a card and bought a handphone strap from her school's bookshop for me. It's a heart shape and in blue. Angeline said that that's my favourite colour. Alvin used colourful paperclips to make a necklace and 2 bracelets for me. I never know that my son is creative and good with craft work.
Angeline said on Saturday that she wanted to prepare breakfast for me. I told her that I would be going to the temple for prayers, but will be back in time for tea time. She relented. She prepared the table setting and told her brother to off the TV at 2.55pm, to be in time for the tea party. When my hubby and I came home, my hubby teased my daughter that why we were only having cream crackers for tea. Well, I am her saving grace. I bought snacks before we returned home. Everybody enjoyed the tea party.
What is most important is the thought that my children put into it to prepare for the Mother's Day. They definitely have improved from last year. I look forward to have more Mother's Day party with my children.:-)
I had an enjoyable time for Mother's Day this year. My daughter drew a card and bought a handphone strap from her school's bookshop for me. It's a heart shape and in blue. Angeline said that that's my favourite colour. Alvin used colourful paperclips to make a necklace and 2 bracelets for me. I never know that my son is creative and good with craft work.
Angeline said on Saturday that she wanted to prepare breakfast for me. I told her that I would be going to the temple for prayers, but will be back in time for tea time. She relented. She prepared the table setting and told her brother to off the TV at 2.55pm, to be in time for the tea party. When my hubby and I came home, my hubby teased my daughter that why we were only having cream crackers for tea. Well, I am her saving grace. I bought snacks before we returned home. Everybody enjoyed the tea party.
What is most important is the thought that my children put into it to prepare for the Mother's Day. They definitely have improved from last year. I look forward to have more Mother's Day party with my children.:-)
Friday, May 8, 2009
9 May, Saturday
I was very happy with my blood test results yesterday. For the first time, all my liver indicators are in the normal range. White blood cells is also in the normal range, despite the I was having mild sore throat and onset of flu coming (itchy nose symptoms). A toast to myself!
Dr Toh is also happy with my PET scan report. He says that the PET scan report shows that the middle section of the cancer cells in the liver (that's the biggest cancer lesion in my body) has increased mass that shows that the cancer cells are dead. The only active cancer cells are in the perimeter of the mass. Also, the cancer cells on the lymph nodes has also shown reduced in the activity level.
Initially he said that, from the summary report, there seems to be an increase in the cancer cell activity on the area above my left kidney. But when I pointed to him on the detailed report, where the reading actually shows a drop, instead of an increase as described in words, then he says the reading should be more accurate. Phew! What a scare.
I am continuing on with the same treatment. Although the tumor marker has dropped only 2 points, now 188 vs 190 previously, he thinks that I am responding well with the new treatment. Press on!
I was very happy with my blood test results yesterday. For the first time, all my liver indicators are in the normal range. White blood cells is also in the normal range, despite the I was having mild sore throat and onset of flu coming (itchy nose symptoms). A toast to myself!
Dr Toh is also happy with my PET scan report. He says that the PET scan report shows that the middle section of the cancer cells in the liver (that's the biggest cancer lesion in my body) has increased mass that shows that the cancer cells are dead. The only active cancer cells are in the perimeter of the mass. Also, the cancer cells on the lymph nodes has also shown reduced in the activity level.
Initially he said that, from the summary report, there seems to be an increase in the cancer cell activity on the area above my left kidney. But when I pointed to him on the detailed report, where the reading actually shows a drop, instead of an increase as described in words, then he says the reading should be more accurate. Phew! What a scare.
I am continuing on with the same treatment. Although the tumor marker has dropped only 2 points, now 188 vs 190 previously, he thinks that I am responding well with the new treatment. Press on!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Round 3 for new treatment
6 May, Wednesday
Will be going to do my blood test for the 2nd cycle tomorrow and see oncologist on Friday. I think all the staff in the hospital will be mask up because of the H1N1 virus.
Am I nervous? Probably. Usually after the initial good results, the tumor marker will hover and bounce up. That's when the oncologist will decide that I need new treatment.
I like my current treatment. I have more energy and stop losing hair. Can play badminton for 0.5h with my son. That's a record, as I was not able to do that when I was having chemo.
What have I been doing in between? Drilling my son for his mid year exam. My gal is ok with her studies and she is more independent. So can leave her alone. But my son's language subjects are atrocious, despite years of tuition that he has gone through. And of course, also spend more time in my religious praying. It gives me a sense of strength to keep on going...going...going....
Will be going to do my blood test for the 2nd cycle tomorrow and see oncologist on Friday. I think all the staff in the hospital will be mask up because of the H1N1 virus.
Am I nervous? Probably. Usually after the initial good results, the tumor marker will hover and bounce up. That's when the oncologist will decide that I need new treatment.
I like my current treatment. I have more energy and stop losing hair. Can play badminton for 0.5h with my son. That's a record, as I was not able to do that when I was having chemo.
What have I been doing in between? Drilling my son for his mid year exam. My gal is ok with her studies and she is more independent. So can leave her alone. But my son's language subjects are atrocious, despite years of tuition that he has gone through. And of course, also spend more time in my religious praying. It gives me a sense of strength to keep on going...going...going....
Saturday, April 25, 2009
PET scan results
26 April 2009, Sunday
I went to SGH again on Friday to collect the PET scan report. The report has been positive. :-)
The size and the cancer cell activity on the lymph node on my left collar bone has shrunk and reduced. Also, the cancer activity on the lymph nodes in other parts of my body and liver has also dropped.
Hope that this will continue to progress in this direction. I feel better with the new treatment. Better energy level and improves appetite. At times, I need to eat some snack of bread and milk before I can go to sleep. Also, I don't feel the pain on my liver, as I used to feel it in the 6th chemo cycle.
Going back to see Dr Toh on 8 May and will have my blood test taken the day before. Let's pray sincerely that the tumor marker will continue to drop.
I went to SGH again on Friday to collect the PET scan report. The report has been positive. :-)
The size and the cancer cell activity on the lymph node on my left collar bone has shrunk and reduced. Also, the cancer activity on the lymph nodes in other parts of my body and liver has also dropped.
Hope that this will continue to progress in this direction. I feel better with the new treatment. Better energy level and improves appetite. At times, I need to eat some snack of bread and milk before I can go to sleep. Also, I don't feel the pain on my liver, as I used to feel it in the 6th chemo cycle.
Going back to see Dr Toh on 8 May and will have my blood test taken the day before. Let's pray sincerely that the tumor marker will continue to drop.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Progress update
23 April 2009, Thursday
Went for PET scan this morning at SGH. First time that I had early appointment, and it really makes a difference. I completed the test within 3 hours, whereas previously, it took me 4-5 hours (including waiting time) to complete the test.
The report will be available tomorrow. When I came home in the afternoon, I was exhausted. Took 2 naps.
Energy level these days are better. Surely a good sign, I hope. Weight level is still 2-3 kg lower than those family shoots that were taken in Jan 09, but otherwise, generally I feel ok. The headaches are not coming so frequently as the initial period of the new treatment.
Really hope that this new treatment will work better. Hubby and my TCM doctor are pragmatic about this progress. Whenever I have a new treatment, the tumor marker will drop quite significantly. Subsequently, the tumour marker will plateau or even go higher (probably the cancer cells have grown smarter and mutate). That's when the current treatment is losing its effect and I will need to go on new treatment. But I really hope that the tumor marker will continue to decline. Have been sincerely praying for it.
Went for PET scan this morning at SGH. First time that I had early appointment, and it really makes a difference. I completed the test within 3 hours, whereas previously, it took me 4-5 hours (including waiting time) to complete the test.
The report will be available tomorrow. When I came home in the afternoon, I was exhausted. Took 2 naps.
Energy level these days are better. Surely a good sign, I hope. Weight level is still 2-3 kg lower than those family shoots that were taken in Jan 09, but otherwise, generally I feel ok. The headaches are not coming so frequently as the initial period of the new treatment.
Really hope that this new treatment will work better. Hubby and my TCM doctor are pragmatic about this progress. Whenever I have a new treatment, the tumor marker will drop quite significantly. Subsequently, the tumour marker will plateau or even go higher (probably the cancer cells have grown smarter and mutate). That's when the current treatment is losing its effect and I will need to go on new treatment. But I really hope that the tumor marker will continue to decline. Have been sincerely praying for it.
Family photo
23 April 2009, Thursday
The much awaited studio shoot, courtesy of my friend's brother, is now available in the website link below.
http://www.topixstudio.com.sg/slideshow/aibee/
Enjoy. :-)
The much awaited studio shoot, courtesy of my friend's brother, is now available in the website link below.
http://www.topixstudio.com.sg/slideshow/aibee/
Enjoy. :-)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thrilled!
18 Apr 2009, Saturday
Got the blood test results from the oncologist yesterday morning. The tumor marker has dropped from 326 to 190, a drop of almost 42%! Hipeeeeee! The general health indicators are also good. Dr Toh (my oncologist) said that usually such results happen in 2 cycles and I manage to achieve it in 1 cycle. Very thrilled with the results that I am responding to the new drugs and the tumor marker has dropped to new low!
Told Dr Toh about my increase heart beat (average about 100 beat/min) and the frequent headaches that I'm experiencing. Did the ECG and it was normal. Will be going for PET scan on 23 Apr to scan my body (including the brain). Dr Toh thinks that my brain should be ok (as the headaches come and go), but to be on the safe side, he recommends early screening. Will keep all posted about the new scan results.
I strongly believe that a big part of the improvement is attributed to me being more religious to my religion. Fighting and winning this battle has become my main job and I need to produce good KPI for myself and all of my family and friends. Will await for bonus from you guys to reward me for my excellent performance. Definitely worth a 1 (for the best) rating! :-)
Got the blood test results from the oncologist yesterday morning. The tumor marker has dropped from 326 to 190, a drop of almost 42%! Hipeeeeee! The general health indicators are also good. Dr Toh (my oncologist) said that usually such results happen in 2 cycles and I manage to achieve it in 1 cycle. Very thrilled with the results that I am responding to the new drugs and the tumor marker has dropped to new low!
Told Dr Toh about my increase heart beat (average about 100 beat/min) and the frequent headaches that I'm experiencing. Did the ECG and it was normal. Will be going for PET scan on 23 Apr to scan my body (including the brain). Dr Toh thinks that my brain should be ok (as the headaches come and go), but to be on the safe side, he recommends early screening. Will keep all posted about the new scan results.
I strongly believe that a big part of the improvement is attributed to me being more religious to my religion. Fighting and winning this battle has become my main job and I need to produce good KPI for myself and all of my family and friends. Will await for bonus from you guys to reward me for my excellent performance. Definitely worth a 1 (for the best) rating! :-)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Good progress
7 April 2009, Tuesday
After the cough episode, which I recovered on last Wednesday, I developed headache from last Wednesday to Salturday consecutively. Got a scare as I was told that headache is one of the symptoms for high blood pressure. I was feeling very bad on Saturday late afternoon. A friend called up Guardian Pharmacy and the sales assistant was very helpful and she went out of her to delay the blood pressure monitor to my home. Thankfully, my blood pressure was normal.
The headache only came back again on Sunday night, for a short 30 mins or so, and I recovered from it after taking the painkiller. Since then, fingers crossed, I don't have the headache spells. Spoke with my TCM sinseh about my headaches. She was initially concerned that it could be due to high blood pressure, but given that my blood pressure is normal and it does not bother me now, she thinks it should be ok. Anyway, from the medicine brochure, one of the side effects for the new medicine is that I could get mild to moderate headaches. So, I think this must be the medicine side effects.
I have been measuring my blood pressure daily since last Saturday and it has been normal. Also, don't have bloatedness and the pain at the liver area. The TCM sinseh says this is a good sign. :-)
Will have to wait for first sign from the blood test next Friday, to see if my body is responding to the new drugs. Praying everyday for it.
After the cough episode, which I recovered on last Wednesday, I developed headache from last Wednesday to Salturday consecutively. Got a scare as I was told that headache is one of the symptoms for high blood pressure. I was feeling very bad on Saturday late afternoon. A friend called up Guardian Pharmacy and the sales assistant was very helpful and she went out of her to delay the blood pressure monitor to my home. Thankfully, my blood pressure was normal.
The headache only came back again on Sunday night, for a short 30 mins or so, and I recovered from it after taking the painkiller. Since then, fingers crossed, I don't have the headache spells. Spoke with my TCM sinseh about my headaches. She was initially concerned that it could be due to high blood pressure, but given that my blood pressure is normal and it does not bother me now, she thinks it should be ok. Anyway, from the medicine brochure, one of the side effects for the new medicine is that I could get mild to moderate headaches. So, I think this must be the medicine side effects.
I have been measuring my blood pressure daily since last Saturday and it has been normal. Also, don't have bloatedness and the pain at the liver area. The TCM sinseh says this is a good sign. :-)
Will have to wait for first sign from the blood test next Friday, to see if my body is responding to the new drugs. Praying everyday for it.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Spa packages for sale
2 April 2009, Thursday
I am a big fan of spa. I enjoy it very much as it is a way for me to de-stress and be served. Hmmm...heavenly. As such, foolishly, I keep buying new packages, even though my old ones have not run out. All these happens before I know that I have cancer and the most recent ones were bought in Sep 08. Now, I have a taste of my own fruit.
With my current health condition, I can only do facial without machines. Massage is a no no. But I am stuck with facial and massage packages. I do my facial with Modern Beauty (aka Be Santuary or Giman). They refused to refund me for those packages that I cannot use, but agree that I can transfer out. So, I have no choice, but to lelong now for any takers for my facial and massage. The beauty chain has many outlets across the island, such as Tampines, Ngee Ann City, Robinson Road, Jurong East, Toa Payoh & Ang Mok Kio. Anybody interested please call me okay? I really need to unload these spa packages as it does help to loosen my finances, if I can recover some $$. Thank you.
I am a big fan of spa. I enjoy it very much as it is a way for me to de-stress and be served. Hmmm...heavenly. As such, foolishly, I keep buying new packages, even though my old ones have not run out. All these happens before I know that I have cancer and the most recent ones were bought in Sep 08. Now, I have a taste of my own fruit.
With my current health condition, I can only do facial without machines. Massage is a no no. But I am stuck with facial and massage packages. I do my facial with Modern Beauty (aka Be Santuary or Giman). They refused to refund me for those packages that I cannot use, but agree that I can transfer out. So, I have no choice, but to lelong now for any takers for my facial and massage. The beauty chain has many outlets across the island, such as Tampines, Ngee Ann City, Robinson Road, Jurong East, Toa Payoh & Ang Mok Kio. Anybody interested please call me okay? I really need to unload these spa packages as it does help to loosen my finances, if I can recover some $$. Thank you.
So far so good
2 April 1009, Thursday
It has been a week since I am on the new treatment. Don't get the regular pain now (fingers crossed). However, I was down with cough since the weekend and it only turns better since yesterday. Not sure if the cough is the side effect of the new drug (which is stated in the medicine brochure) or I got it from my gal, who has been coughing for almost 2 weeks (since we come back from the Sentosa trip).
Energy level zaps usual during evening time, but I may not get to sleep easily as my sleeping medicine (which actuaaly is the oral chemo drug) is now stopped and replaced with Avastin, which goes into my body intravenously.
I pant easily, even after a short walk. Advanced old age. Ha! Ha! I was telling my hubby the other day that I used to walk faster than my mother-in-law. Now, it's the other way round.
I have also lost a bit of weight recently. About 2 to 3 kg. Not much changes in the appetite though. The chinese sinseh explained that as my body is fighting internally, it also consumes a lot of energy. Hope this is not about wasting. (wasting means the cancer cells are feeding onto the nutrients and fats, etc and eventually I will be thin like bamboo). I guess, for once, I am thankful that I am on the heavy side. So, it does have some buffer. :-)
It has been a week since I am on the new treatment. Don't get the regular pain now (fingers crossed). However, I was down with cough since the weekend and it only turns better since yesterday. Not sure if the cough is the side effect of the new drug (which is stated in the medicine brochure) or I got it from my gal, who has been coughing for almost 2 weeks (since we come back from the Sentosa trip).
Energy level zaps usual during evening time, but I may not get to sleep easily as my sleeping medicine (which actuaaly is the oral chemo drug) is now stopped and replaced with Avastin, which goes into my body intravenously.
I pant easily, even after a short walk. Advanced old age. Ha! Ha! I was telling my hubby the other day that I used to walk faster than my mother-in-law. Now, it's the other way round.
I have also lost a bit of weight recently. About 2 to 3 kg. Not much changes in the appetite though. The chinese sinseh explained that as my body is fighting internally, it also consumes a lot of energy. Hope this is not about wasting. (wasting means the cancer cells are feeding onto the nutrients and fats, etc and eventually I will be thin like bamboo). I guess, for once, I am thankful that I am on the heavy side. So, it does have some buffer. :-)
Saturday, March 28, 2009
New treatment
28 March 2009, Saturday
Got the results for the PET scan yesterday. It's a mixed of good and bad news. Good news is that there is some reduction in the cancer activity for the major mass of cancer cells on the liver. It has not spread to other organs and the functionality of my major organs, including the liver, has not been affected; the bad news is that there are 3 new spots within the liver that have shown up. In addition, one cancer cell on the lymph node on the left shoulder has doubled its size and increase cancer activity. The verdict is that the current medication that I'm taking has lost its effectivetiness.
The pain that I am experiencing lately is due to the swollen liver, arising from the cancer cells. Will have to make do with pain killers for time being while using the new medication to solve the cause of the problem.
The oncologist recommended that I should try the "smart drug", where these medicines are not chemo drugs, but are used for treating cancers. They are Avastin & Rapamycin. The objectives of the former drug is to stop the blood vessels for supplying nutrients to the cancer cells and is given once every 3 weeks intravenaously and the latter drug is to stop the cancer cells from duplicating and has to be taken orally on a daily basis. Both of them have side effects, such as nausea, vomitting, rash, breathlessness, headache, constpiation/diarrhoea and the former drug can also cause increase in blood pressure. The costs are also more expensive, almost double the costs for my 1st set of medicine.
TCM has also modified her medication to give me something to fight against the toxic, since I am not on chemo drugs.I started on the new medicine yesterday.
Praying hard that this time my body will respond better to the new drugs.
Will only know the effectiveness of the new drug until 2 or 3 cycles later, then I will go for another PET scan.
Got the results for the PET scan yesterday. It's a mixed of good and bad news. Good news is that there is some reduction in the cancer activity for the major mass of cancer cells on the liver. It has not spread to other organs and the functionality of my major organs, including the liver, has not been affected; the bad news is that there are 3 new spots within the liver that have shown up. In addition, one cancer cell on the lymph node on the left shoulder has doubled its size and increase cancer activity. The verdict is that the current medication that I'm taking has lost its effectivetiness.
The pain that I am experiencing lately is due to the swollen liver, arising from the cancer cells. Will have to make do with pain killers for time being while using the new medication to solve the cause of the problem.
The oncologist recommended that I should try the "smart drug", where these medicines are not chemo drugs, but are used for treating cancers. They are Avastin & Rapamycin. The objectives of the former drug is to stop the blood vessels for supplying nutrients to the cancer cells and is given once every 3 weeks intravenaously and the latter drug is to stop the cancer cells from duplicating and has to be taken orally on a daily basis. Both of them have side effects, such as nausea, vomitting, rash, breathlessness, headache, constpiation/diarrhoea and the former drug can also cause increase in blood pressure. The costs are also more expensive, almost double the costs for my 1st set of medicine.
TCM has also modified her medication to give me something to fight against the toxic, since I am not on chemo drugs.I started on the new medicine yesterday.
Praying hard that this time my body will respond better to the new drugs.
Will only know the effectiveness of the new drug until 2 or 3 cycles later, then I will go for another PET scan.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
No chemo
26th March 2009, Thursday
7th chemo cycle didn't proceed as planned as my tumour marker has gone up again, from 262 to 326. The oncologist suddested that I should do a PET scan first and decide what to do next. If my tumour marker has dropped, he will press on with the chemo cycles to complete up till 8 cycles. Unfortunately, the last 2 tumour marker readings had gone up.
Went for PET scan yesterday. The results will be out tomorrow. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have also told doc that I am experiencing pain (and more frequently in the last 2 weeks) at the liver area where the cancer cells are. I asked him if this was a sign of deterioriation and he nodded his head. No matter what, I still have to keep my spirit up! My girlfriend was analysisng with me that the only 2 changes during the 6th cycle is the alkaline water that I started drinking from mid Feb and the increased dosage for one of the oral chemo drug. Not sure if this could be the reason that I am experiencing the pain. So, she suggested that I should stop drinking alkaline water for the time being. Will heed her advice and see how it goes.
7th chemo cycle didn't proceed as planned as my tumour marker has gone up again, from 262 to 326. The oncologist suddested that I should do a PET scan first and decide what to do next. If my tumour marker has dropped, he will press on with the chemo cycles to complete up till 8 cycles. Unfortunately, the last 2 tumour marker readings had gone up.
Went for PET scan yesterday. The results will be out tomorrow. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have also told doc that I am experiencing pain (and more frequently in the last 2 weeks) at the liver area where the cancer cells are. I asked him if this was a sign of deterioriation and he nodded his head. No matter what, I still have to keep my spirit up! My girlfriend was analysisng with me that the only 2 changes during the 6th cycle is the alkaline water that I started drinking from mid Feb and the increased dosage for one of the oral chemo drug. Not sure if this could be the reason that I am experiencing the pain. So, she suggested that I should stop drinking alkaline water for the time being. Will heed her advice and see how it goes.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
What have you been up to?
21 March 2009, Saturday
I got a few sms lately, asking how am I getting along and what I am up to. My apologies for not updating promptly. Quite a few things happened recently.
My 6th cycle has been very challenging. Lose a bit of weight, probably due to the poor appetite that I am experiencing. Also, I perspire a lot. The Chinese sinseh said that this could be due to the hormonal changes in me and it is also a signal of weakness in me. My menses have been very irregular. It comes twice a month and now on weekly basis. I also get tire easily.
My mum-in-law's godfather passed away last week and we were at the wake almost every night. He was 80 years old when he died and quite suddenly. His wife still can't accept his demise and has been crying every day. They are such loving couple and have been married for at least 50 years I think. It is always the survivng people who will feel more of the pain for the loss.
The family also went to Sentosa on Wednesday and we stayed in Rasa Sentosa for 2 nights. Quite a pleasant stay and the kids enjoyed themselves a lot with the pool and of course the proximity to the beach. We tried out Cineblast and 4D magic. Quite fun and the price is quite steep for a short 10 mins. Luckily there is a promotion now that the kids get to go in for free. The children enjoyed the luge and skyride the most. One is definitely not enough. Generally a fun short getaway, except that the food there is not fantastic.
I will be starting my 7th chemo cycle on 24th March. Will be going for blood test on 23rd March, review the results and see the oncologist before starting the chemo. I hope my health is in a ready state to complete the remaining sessions. If all goes well, I should have finish the chemo treatments by end Apr. Then, I will do a PET scan and discuss with the oncologist on the next course of action.
I got a few sms lately, asking how am I getting along and what I am up to. My apologies for not updating promptly. Quite a few things happened recently.
My 6th cycle has been very challenging. Lose a bit of weight, probably due to the poor appetite that I am experiencing. Also, I perspire a lot. The Chinese sinseh said that this could be due to the hormonal changes in me and it is also a signal of weakness in me. My menses have been very irregular. It comes twice a month and now on weekly basis. I also get tire easily.
My mum-in-law's godfather passed away last week and we were at the wake almost every night. He was 80 years old when he died and quite suddenly. His wife still can't accept his demise and has been crying every day. They are such loving couple and have been married for at least 50 years I think. It is always the survivng people who will feel more of the pain for the loss.
The family also went to Sentosa on Wednesday and we stayed in Rasa Sentosa for 2 nights. Quite a pleasant stay and the kids enjoyed themselves a lot with the pool and of course the proximity to the beach. We tried out Cineblast and 4D magic. Quite fun and the price is quite steep for a short 10 mins. Luckily there is a promotion now that the kids get to go in for free. The children enjoyed the luge and skyride the most. One is definitely not enough. Generally a fun short getaway, except that the food there is not fantastic.
I will be starting my 7th chemo cycle on 24th March. Will be going for blood test on 23rd March, review the results and see the oncologist before starting the chemo. I hope my health is in a ready state to complete the remaining sessions. If all goes well, I should have finish the chemo treatments by end Apr. Then, I will do a PET scan and discuss with the oncologist on the next course of action.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
6th cycle
27th February 2009, Friday
Started on 6th chemo cycle 2 days ago. Tumor marker had gone up marginally from 247 to 262, but Dr Toh (my oncologist) said that it was still within acceptable range and had increase the dosage of the new drug that he gave me from 100mg to 150mg. That will make me more goggy. Luckily I am not working now and can sleep more.
We discussed again on the options of surgery as only surgery can help to remove the cancer cells almost completely. Unfortunately, for my case, I can't do surgery as the cancer cells are on both lopes of my liver. Dr Toh assured me that I am progressing well with the medication. A more detailed discussion on the next steps will be conducted after the PET scan, which will be performed after the 8th cycle. So that will be likely in early May. He tells me to just stay focus on each chemo cycle and get well and not to worry too much. As it is, he told me that I am an outliner and have progressed well with the treatment, considering that bile duct cancer is a fast acting cancer and I manage to bring down the tumor marker from 890 (before chemo) to 200+. The balance are the resistant cancer cells which probably needs more bullets and bombs to shoot them down. He says that there are other treatments that he has yet to discuss with me, as we will wait for the PET scan result for the verdict. Cross the bridge when we reach there.
I spoke with the Chinese sinseh. She had the same opinion that I should not do surgery, as the surgery is only a local solution, but likely the cancer cells are already floating in my blood stream. Also, with a major surgery, my immunity will be low and that will be a good chance for the cancer cells to attack me more aggressively. She said that even if the western medicine runs out of idea, TCM could still help as they are now only playing a complimentary role now and will move up to lead role when required. She can't raise the bar for TCM on me yet, as she is concerned that my health may not be able to take it. She also tells me to take one step at a time.
Initially, I was a bit upset on Wednesday and felt really lousy. But I tell myself never give up this fight against the cancer cells. If I give up on myself, the cancer cells will be popping champagne inside my body. I will not let them have an easy time inside.
I have started on alkaline water for 2 weeks. Read that cancer cells thrive in acidic environment. With the alkaline water, it is supposed to be anti-oxidant and the water molecules are smaller and hence better absorbent by the body. Hopefully this helps.
Also, a friend sends me a write up on Kachahatrian Effect Protocol –KEP, by a renowned Russian scientist. Will need to check up on him and consult with the oncologist.
Started on 6th chemo cycle 2 days ago. Tumor marker had gone up marginally from 247 to 262, but Dr Toh (my oncologist) said that it was still within acceptable range and had increase the dosage of the new drug that he gave me from 100mg to 150mg. That will make me more goggy. Luckily I am not working now and can sleep more.
We discussed again on the options of surgery as only surgery can help to remove the cancer cells almost completely. Unfortunately, for my case, I can't do surgery as the cancer cells are on both lopes of my liver. Dr Toh assured me that I am progressing well with the medication. A more detailed discussion on the next steps will be conducted after the PET scan, which will be performed after the 8th cycle. So that will be likely in early May. He tells me to just stay focus on each chemo cycle and get well and not to worry too much. As it is, he told me that I am an outliner and have progressed well with the treatment, considering that bile duct cancer is a fast acting cancer and I manage to bring down the tumor marker from 890 (before chemo) to 200+. The balance are the resistant cancer cells which probably needs more bullets and bombs to shoot them down. He says that there are other treatments that he has yet to discuss with me, as we will wait for the PET scan result for the verdict. Cross the bridge when we reach there.
I spoke with the Chinese sinseh. She had the same opinion that I should not do surgery, as the surgery is only a local solution, but likely the cancer cells are already floating in my blood stream. Also, with a major surgery, my immunity will be low and that will be a good chance for the cancer cells to attack me more aggressively. She said that even if the western medicine runs out of idea, TCM could still help as they are now only playing a complimentary role now and will move up to lead role when required. She can't raise the bar for TCM on me yet, as she is concerned that my health may not be able to take it. She also tells me to take one step at a time.
Initially, I was a bit upset on Wednesday and felt really lousy. But I tell myself never give up this fight against the cancer cells. If I give up on myself, the cancer cells will be popping champagne inside my body. I will not let them have an easy time inside.
I have started on alkaline water for 2 weeks. Read that cancer cells thrive in acidic environment. With the alkaline water, it is supposed to be anti-oxidant and the water molecules are smaller and hence better absorbent by the body. Hopefully this helps.
Also, a friend sends me a write up on Kachahatrian Effect Protocol –KEP, by a renowned Russian scientist. Will need to check up on him and consult with the oncologist.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
5 per cent
18 February 2009, Wednesday
I have been geting complaints that I am not updating my blogs as regularly as I should. Sorry for the laziness.
The 5th chemo cycle goes through smoothly (fingers crossed) and now I am in my rest week, before starting the 6th cycle on 25 Feb. Got a scare on Sunday when there were rashes developed on both thighs. There were numerous red spots, but were not itchy. On Monday, the spots were still there. So I asked the Chinese sinseh when I saw her at night. She was a bit concerned initially, as the red spots could mean that my platetet count is in dangerously low level. However, the blood test results that I took just a few days ago showed that the platetet was in the normal range (actually just pass the minimum level), so she doubt that could be the reason. She modified the medication and does wonder with her medicine. After taking the medicine for one day, the rashes are gone. So, it is worth it to take her medicine, even though it means 34 sachets of chinese herbs powder.
I had read in the internet sometime ago, that only 5% of patients with bile duct cancer can survive more than 5 years. Same statistics as pancreatic cancer. Not sure if I can break that statistic, as it means that there are only 5 out of every 100 patients. A friend told me that the statistics to me should be 50%. Either make it or not. So this is a higher probablility.
I was reading Shin's blog just now and one of the follower commented that her husband passed on 2 months after the diagnosis and he first knew the illness in mid Oct, which was the same time as me. I guess I am much luckier than him that I can still try and respond well to the chemo treatments. I am really grateful to my religion that I have survived this far. I guess it also helps that I am on the heavy side. So, there are more buffer for any weight loss, if any. I have more or less maintained the same weight since I started chemo. It fluctuates within 2 kg range, but nevertheless, I am still heavier than before starting chemo.
While waiting for my chemo treatment at NCC last Thursday, I saw a patient who was frail and sitting on a wheelchair. I started a conversation with him and asked him to consider TCM. He was initially resisitant about it. He was 41 years old with 3 kids, cancer at the liver and small intestines. He insisted on chemo, even though his oncologist did not recommend it. I told him that TCM helps to provide the immunity and base to tolerate the chemo. He looked stubborn, but his sister was telling me that they had try to talk to him and he refused to listen. She hoped that when he saw my physical look, he will give it a try. Eventually, he asked for the name card of my Chinese sinseh. I really hope that he will see the TCM doctor, and not just to get rid of me by taking the namecard.
I have been geting complaints that I am not updating my blogs as regularly as I should. Sorry for the laziness.
The 5th chemo cycle goes through smoothly (fingers crossed) and now I am in my rest week, before starting the 6th cycle on 25 Feb. Got a scare on Sunday when there were rashes developed on both thighs. There were numerous red spots, but were not itchy. On Monday, the spots were still there. So I asked the Chinese sinseh when I saw her at night. She was a bit concerned initially, as the red spots could mean that my platetet count is in dangerously low level. However, the blood test results that I took just a few days ago showed that the platetet was in the normal range (actually just pass the minimum level), so she doubt that could be the reason. She modified the medication and does wonder with her medicine. After taking the medicine for one day, the rashes are gone. So, it is worth it to take her medicine, even though it means 34 sachets of chinese herbs powder.
I had read in the internet sometime ago, that only 5% of patients with bile duct cancer can survive more than 5 years. Same statistics as pancreatic cancer. Not sure if I can break that statistic, as it means that there are only 5 out of every 100 patients. A friend told me that the statistics to me should be 50%. Either make it or not. So this is a higher probablility.
I was reading Shin's blog just now and one of the follower commented that her husband passed on 2 months after the diagnosis and he first knew the illness in mid Oct, which was the same time as me. I guess I am much luckier than him that I can still try and respond well to the chemo treatments. I am really grateful to my religion that I have survived this far. I guess it also helps that I am on the heavy side. So, there are more buffer for any weight loss, if any. I have more or less maintained the same weight since I started chemo. It fluctuates within 2 kg range, but nevertheless, I am still heavier than before starting chemo.
While waiting for my chemo treatment at NCC last Thursday, I saw a patient who was frail and sitting on a wheelchair. I started a conversation with him and asked him to consider TCM. He was initially resisitant about it. He was 41 years old with 3 kids, cancer at the liver and small intestines. He insisted on chemo, even though his oncologist did not recommend it. I told him that TCM helps to provide the immunity and base to tolerate the chemo. He looked stubborn, but his sister was telling me that they had try to talk to him and he refused to listen. She hoped that when he saw my physical look, he will give it a try. Eventually, he asked for the name card of my Chinese sinseh. I really hope that he will see the TCM doctor, and not just to get rid of me by taking the namecard.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Spring cleaning
5 February 2009, Thursday
When I was helping with the spring cleaning on the last day of pre-CNY, it brought back memories of my childhood days.
My father was a newspaper vendor for as long as I can remember. So, there were only a handful of off days for us, as we also helped him with mending the newspaper stall. On the last day of pre-CNY, we would be busy cleaning the house as a family, while my mum would be cooking. The food would be first offered to the ancestors, before we sat down and eat. Usually, the last chore for the night would be washing and mopping the floor and we would leave the honourable task to my elder brother. Those were the days....
So this year, my hubby got the kids to help with cleaning the doors and windows on areas that they could reach. They were enthusiatic and helped for a while. But soon they got bored. Well, I hope this memory will stay with them, just as they had stayed with me.
When I was helping with the spring cleaning on the last day of pre-CNY, it brought back memories of my childhood days.
My father was a newspaper vendor for as long as I can remember. So, there were only a handful of off days for us, as we also helped him with mending the newspaper stall. On the last day of pre-CNY, we would be busy cleaning the house as a family, while my mum would be cooking. The food would be first offered to the ancestors, before we sat down and eat. Usually, the last chore for the night would be washing and mopping the floor and we would leave the honourable task to my elder brother. Those were the days....
So this year, my hubby got the kids to help with cleaning the doors and windows on areas that they could reach. They were enthusiatic and helped for a while. But soon they got bored. Well, I hope this memory will stay with them, just as they had stayed with me.
Alvin, generous boy for once
5 February 2009, Thursday
On the first day of CNY, we were offering oranges to everybody within the family. Angeline asked if she should also gave oranges to Alvin and we said yes, as a mode of respect for the elders. Alvin turned around and asked if he needed to give Angeline a red packet, as he received one from each of the adults. So, we teased him and said yes, knowing that he is such a miser.
He quickly took his coin box and a red packet and ran into the bedroom. Soon after, he came out of the bedroom with a red packet on hand and gave it to Angeline. The adults were all jokingly saying that at best, he would only gave his sister $2. To all our surprise, he actually gave his sister $30. Not bad for someone who treasures his every cents.
At night, he told us that he was rich with the hongbao money. So I suggested to him that he should gave us a McDonald breakfast treat and agreed immediately. So, next morning, we went to McDonald and he paid for the breakfast without a wink.
Oh yes, must also talk about his another generous act. We went for a movie, after dinner on their birthday. He forked out $10 for his movie ticket. When we were home, we told him that $10 was not enough for the whole family to watch the show and it costed $50. So, he willingly took out $50 to me and told me to return the $10 that he had previously given to me.
So, this boy is really not that bad after all. At times, he says that he is saving his money to buy a big house. On other occasions, he will say that he wants to keep his money to buy PSP/Nintendo which he knows that I will not buy for him. I am more concerned that he will be indulged with the game machine and ruin his eye sight, which is already quite bad for a boy of his age.
On the first day of CNY, we were offering oranges to everybody within the family. Angeline asked if she should also gave oranges to Alvin and we said yes, as a mode of respect for the elders. Alvin turned around and asked if he needed to give Angeline a red packet, as he received one from each of the adults. So, we teased him and said yes, knowing that he is such a miser.
He quickly took his coin box and a red packet and ran into the bedroom. Soon after, he came out of the bedroom with a red packet on hand and gave it to Angeline. The adults were all jokingly saying that at best, he would only gave his sister $2. To all our surprise, he actually gave his sister $30. Not bad for someone who treasures his every cents.
At night, he told us that he was rich with the hongbao money. So I suggested to him that he should gave us a McDonald breakfast treat and agreed immediately. So, next morning, we went to McDonald and he paid for the breakfast without a wink.
Oh yes, must also talk about his another generous act. We went for a movie, after dinner on their birthday. He forked out $10 for his movie ticket. When we were home, we told him that $10 was not enough for the whole family to watch the show and it costed $50. So, he willingly took out $50 to me and told me to return the $10 that he had previously given to me.
So, this boy is really not that bad after all. At times, he says that he is saving his money to buy a big house. On other occasions, he will say that he wants to keep his money to buy PSP/Nintendo which he knows that I will not buy for him. I am more concerned that he will be indulged with the game machine and ruin his eye sight, which is already quite bad for a boy of his age.
Shin
5 February 2009, Thursday
I started writing on the blog, after watching the documentary show on Shin and reading her blog. For those who don't her, Shin is a Korean American who has breast cancer and subsequently the cancer has spread to multile organs, including her lung and brain. She is a woman full of zest and energy, even though I do not know her personally.
It is also from her that I start to think about what will happen to my family when one day I am no longer around with them. Of course, I hope that one day will not come so quickly, but life is so unpredictable. It does not matter how long you live, but the quality of the life that you have lead.
Shin has passed away on 27 January 2009 and has donated her body for cancer research. Even in her death, she is still thinking about how she can help others. What a remarkable woman!
She will constantly be my source of energy, even though that she is no longer around. She has brighten the light for many people and I hope that I will be able to emulate what she has done. May she rest in peace.
I started writing on the blog, after watching the documentary show on Shin and reading her blog. For those who don't her, Shin is a Korean American who has breast cancer and subsequently the cancer has spread to multile organs, including her lung and brain. She is a woman full of zest and energy, even though I do not know her personally.
It is also from her that I start to think about what will happen to my family when one day I am no longer around with them. Of course, I hope that one day will not come so quickly, but life is so unpredictable. It does not matter how long you live, but the quality of the life that you have lead.
Shin has passed away on 27 January 2009 and has donated her body for cancer research. Even in her death, she is still thinking about how she can help others. What a remarkable woman!
She will constantly be my source of energy, even though that she is no longer around. She has brighten the light for many people and I hope that I will be able to emulate what she has done. May she rest in peace.
5th cycle
5 February 2009, Thursday
Yesterday I went to NCC to review my blood test result and started my 5th chemo cycle. The turmor marker has dropped from 319 to 247 and one of the liver indicators has also dropped to normal range. Hooray! Looks like the new drug is working, with the combination of faith I have in the religion and the Chinese medicine works wonder. And of course, I must thank all my friends who have been praying for me.
The doctor told me that likely I will go all the way to complete 8 cycles and then do a PET scan again after the 8th cycle. He also shared with me that majority of the patients cannot sustain beyond 5 cycles. I am really pleased to hear that news and will press on. Half the battle won and half more to go.
Yesterday I went to NCC to review my blood test result and started my 5th chemo cycle. The turmor marker has dropped from 319 to 247 and one of the liver indicators has also dropped to normal range. Hooray! Looks like the new drug is working, with the combination of faith I have in the religion and the Chinese medicine works wonder. And of course, I must thank all my friends who have been praying for me.
The doctor told me that likely I will go all the way to complete 8 cycles and then do a PET scan again after the 8th cycle. He also shared with me that majority of the patients cannot sustain beyond 5 cycles. I am really pleased to hear that news and will press on. Half the battle won and half more to go.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My therapist
16th January 2009, Friday
For the past few niights, I had a young therapist who would diligently applied different types of moisturisers on different parts of my body. Hand cream for hand, foot cream for toes and foot and body cream for the hands and legs. And all these for no charges and performed while I was resting on my bed, watching the ever depressing news. This person is none other than my daughter, Angeline.
Last night, she also extended her services to her dad. I suggested to her that she can be an entrepreneur next time and open a shop. She has bigger ambitions than me. She says that she wants to open 1,250 shops worldwide! Looks like I need to start to teach her accounting and finance and she can have a headstart. Ha! Ha!
For the past few niights, I had a young therapist who would diligently applied different types of moisturisers on different parts of my body. Hand cream for hand, foot cream for toes and foot and body cream for the hands and legs. And all these for no charges and performed while I was resting on my bed, watching the ever depressing news. This person is none other than my daughter, Angeline.
Last night, she also extended her services to her dad. I suggested to her that she can be an entrepreneur next time and open a shop. She has bigger ambitions than me. She says that she wants to open 1,250 shops worldwide! Looks like I need to start to teach her accounting and finance and she can have a headstart. Ha! Ha!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Heart medicine
15 Jauary 2009, Thusday
As all of you have know, my mum had passed away in last October, due to heart failure. That's 2 months after her illness was being diagnosed. We are left with bags of her heart medicines, costing hundreds of dollars. I have called the hospital and nursing home, but am told that they don't take back medicine. Presumably they are concerned that the medication could have been tempered. Well, our intention is that it is better to give away the medication, than to throw them away, as these medicines cost money and in today's climate, every dollar save is every dollar earn.
So, fellow friends out there, if you know of any heart patients and don't mind (and not pan tan), please let me know and I can pass the medicine to you.
I am also planning to go for some family holiday during Mar school holiday, since we didn't travel last year. Any suggestions? Must avoid cold weather countries, as Alvin has a sensitive nose.
As all of you have know, my mum had passed away in last October, due to heart failure. That's 2 months after her illness was being diagnosed. We are left with bags of her heart medicines, costing hundreds of dollars. I have called the hospital and nursing home, but am told that they don't take back medicine. Presumably they are concerned that the medication could have been tempered. Well, our intention is that it is better to give away the medication, than to throw them away, as these medicines cost money and in today's climate, every dollar save is every dollar earn.
So, fellow friends out there, if you know of any heart patients and don't mind (and not pan tan), please let me know and I can pass the medicine to you.
I am also planning to go for some family holiday during Mar school holiday, since we didn't travel last year. Any suggestions? Must avoid cold weather countries, as Alvin has a sensitive nose.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
4th cycle
14th January, Wednesday
Yesterday I went for the 2nd drip of the 4th chemo cycle. I have completed half-way mark. Will have 2 to 4 more cycles to go. Must press on for myself and my family.
It was a long waiting time for the blood test, but the wait for the chemo treatment was surprising short. When my number was called, I was still in the toilet. Had to rush to the nurse station to identify myself. The nurse was asking if I was the patient or the family member of the patient. When I said I was the patient, she gave me a shock look. Subsequently when she was preparing the procedures for me, I asked her about her shock look. She replied that I did not look like any of her cancer patients, and bet that my friends can't tell that I look like one. Well, I take that as a compliment. :-)
The new drug that I am taking is making me drowsy. Not sure if the cough medicine that I am taking also add to the drowsiness. Have been having cough since last Friday night, but it has since improved.
Looking forward to the family photoshoot this Saturday. This is the first time that we are getting the studio shot together. Hmmmm....
Will also look forward to eat CNY goodies and go to Chinatown next week for the CNY ambience, since I get 2 weeks of rest.
Yesterday I went for the 2nd drip of the 4th chemo cycle. I have completed half-way mark. Will have 2 to 4 more cycles to go. Must press on for myself and my family.
It was a long waiting time for the blood test, but the wait for the chemo treatment was surprising short. When my number was called, I was still in the toilet. Had to rush to the nurse station to identify myself. The nurse was asking if I was the patient or the family member of the patient. When I said I was the patient, she gave me a shock look. Subsequently when she was preparing the procedures for me, I asked her about her shock look. She replied that I did not look like any of her cancer patients, and bet that my friends can't tell that I look like one. Well, I take that as a compliment. :-)
The new drug that I am taking is making me drowsy. Not sure if the cough medicine that I am taking also add to the drowsiness. Have been having cough since last Friday night, but it has since improved.
Looking forward to the family photoshoot this Saturday. This is the first time that we are getting the studio shot together. Hmmmm....
Will also look forward to eat CNY goodies and go to Chinatown next week for the CNY ambience, since I get 2 weeks of rest.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
MIdway Report
8 January 2009, Thursday
I had an appointment on Tuesday with the oncologist to review the PET scan that I had done on Monday. The results showed consistent with the CT scan that my condition is stabilised (good news #1) and the cancer cells activity is a little bit less inflamed orange, as compared to before treatment (good news #2). Inflamed orange means that the cancer cells are active, while green means reduced activity. Also, in the liver, there used to be a horseshoe size of mass before the treatment. Now there is a small breakage in the mass. (good news #3).
With these positive results, the oncologist decided that I need not take Tarceva, as he previously recommended (which is more costly and the effectiveness is low in the clinical study). Instead, I am taking another additional oral chemo drug which is used for liver cancer and less costly. The latter drug is supposed to block the blood vessels and starve the cancer cells. Hopefully, killing them in the process. Will still conitnue the same chemo combination, which is well tolerated by me and the new drug will be the additional line of attack to the cancer cells. Side effect of the latest drug is that I will be sleepy. Hence, taking that at night and this should help me in my dreamland.
Will need to continue the chemo cycles for3 to 5 cycles, before he will decide on the next steps. We discussed about alternative treatments, such as liver transplant, photodynamic, etc, but these are all ruled out for me as the cancer cells are now too widespread. Both the oncologist and the Chinese sinseh asked me to take one step at a time and too plan too far ahead. Stay positive and maintain peace with myself.
Chinese sinseh also allows me to eat some of the forbidden food in low amount for the CNY period (there is a list of forbidden food from the Chinese sinseh, including chicken, lamb, prawn, crab and spicy food). At the very least, I get to enjoy CNY this year as my rest week will be one week before and 1st week of CNY.
I had an appointment on Tuesday with the oncologist to review the PET scan that I had done on Monday. The results showed consistent with the CT scan that my condition is stabilised (good news #1) and the cancer cells activity is a little bit less inflamed orange, as compared to before treatment (good news #2). Inflamed orange means that the cancer cells are active, while green means reduced activity. Also, in the liver, there used to be a horseshoe size of mass before the treatment. Now there is a small breakage in the mass. (good news #3).
With these positive results, the oncologist decided that I need not take Tarceva, as he previously recommended (which is more costly and the effectiveness is low in the clinical study). Instead, I am taking another additional oral chemo drug which is used for liver cancer and less costly. The latter drug is supposed to block the blood vessels and starve the cancer cells. Hopefully, killing them in the process. Will still conitnue the same chemo combination, which is well tolerated by me and the new drug will be the additional line of attack to the cancer cells. Side effect of the latest drug is that I will be sleepy. Hence, taking that at night and this should help me in my dreamland.
Will need to continue the chemo cycles for3 to 5 cycles, before he will decide on the next steps. We discussed about alternative treatments, such as liver transplant, photodynamic, etc, but these are all ruled out for me as the cancer cells are now too widespread. Both the oncologist and the Chinese sinseh asked me to take one step at a time and too plan too far ahead. Stay positive and maintain peace with myself.
Chinese sinseh also allows me to eat some of the forbidden food in low amount for the CNY period (there is a list of forbidden food from the Chinese sinseh, including chicken, lamb, prawn, crab and spicy food). At the very least, I get to enjoy CNY this year as my rest week will be one week before and 1st week of CNY.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
