21 Sep, 2009 Monday
Just had another PET scan done last Thursday. That's my 6th done within a year. Test results were not wonderful.
The lymph nodes in the abdomen hasbecome more active, and there is water retention in the stomach. Likely a leakage from the liver. As such, I am having a lot of wind and water in my stomach. My stomach now swell like as though I am 5 months pregnant. It can be so bad at times that it affects my appetite and everytime I beat my tummy, I am beating a drum with the "pong pong' sound. The liver cancer mass has also grown, although the cancer activity has been stabilised. This had caused the compression of the organs in the stomach area and caused pain at the gastric point and it permeates through to the back bone. Now, I am on a stronger version of the morphine pill, at 12 hours interval. If I am a bit late, the pain will hit me. Now, I am like a drug addict, must take the painkiller punctually. There is also come cancer activity pickup at the right lung, which in anyway, has previously been reported, but this time there is cancer activity pickup.
The good news is that the cancer has not spread to my other organs, such as bone, stomach, spleen and kidney. Initially, I thought the back pain arises because the cancer has spread to the bone.
My oncologist looked at the computer image and thinks that it is not as bad as that being reported in the PET scan report. I am now back on oral chemo medication, a cocktail of a combination of my earlier cocktails. But the medication makes me tire easily. I will have to take a nap at least once in the day, and will be on bed by 10pm.
My TCM doc has a more pessimistic view. My pulse is weak. So, she added some stuff in my TCM medicine to boost me up.
I believe the rainy days are temporary and the sun will come up again, and perhaps with rainbow too. The pain will not always be there. I need to maintain calm and always have a positive mind. This is important ingredient for me to fight back. Otherwise, my immunity will be weak and the cancer cells will be popping champagne and grow their children and grandchildren. I am going to give them a good fight!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Chicken pox
30 August, 2009 Sunday
Angeline is coping well with her chicken pox episode. She does not feel lethargy. Only 1 or 2 episodes of fever. During the day, she would quietly do her painting, reading and her own stuff and did not disturb me. Of course, she feels alenated as she has to avoid physical contact from me. But otherwise she is ok. On 2 days, she actually put on a hair band and clean her toys. Well, she was duly rewarded by the grandmother.
Alvin has so far not show any sign of chicken pox yet. The doctor says that the incubation is 1-3 weeks. So, the verdict will be out soon.
Alvin has performed better in his CA2 exam, compared to 1st half of the year. He finally passed his Chineses main paper, scoring 53/75. A much improvement, as he has been failing it since the beginning of the year. Also, his English main paper has shown improvement, scoring 50.5/65. Really must thank the tutors' efforts for giving him extra lessons, and the tutors are very kind that they do not charge us extra for the additional classes. Maths paper is not back yet, but I am not worry as Maths has always been his strongest subject.
Angeline is coping well with her chicken pox episode. She does not feel lethargy. Only 1 or 2 episodes of fever. During the day, she would quietly do her painting, reading and her own stuff and did not disturb me. Of course, she feels alenated as she has to avoid physical contact from me. But otherwise she is ok. On 2 days, she actually put on a hair band and clean her toys. Well, she was duly rewarded by the grandmother.
Alvin has so far not show any sign of chicken pox yet. The doctor says that the incubation is 1-3 weeks. So, the verdict will be out soon.
Alvin has performed better in his CA2 exam, compared to 1st half of the year. He finally passed his Chineses main paper, scoring 53/75. A much improvement, as he has been failing it since the beginning of the year. Also, his English main paper has shown improvement, scoring 50.5/65. Really must thank the tutors' efforts for giving him extra lessons, and the tutors are very kind that they do not charge us extra for the additional classes. Maths paper is not back yet, but I am not worry as Maths has always been his strongest subject.
Life partner
30 August, 2009 Sunday
Many a times, we complain about our spouse and wish that we are not married and get into all this marital mess. If you asked me one year ago, I would have agreed totally. But now, my perspective has changed.
For the last 2 hospitalisation, I was glad that my hubby was with me and sent me to the hospital. Otherwise, not sure how to handle the kids at home, or I may have to go to hospital alone. Sure to feel lousy, as already in pain and no company. Luckily, Anthony was back from his business trip and was able to be there with me.
As we age, we need a pillar of strength. Our spouse is our pillar of strength. And of course, without him, I cannot have produce my lovely twins. When I was in the hospital, I witnessed old couple, usually the husband (since I was in the women's ward) will come to visit their wife daily without fail. It is so heart warming. We never know who will be the weaker half, but whatever it is, we need each other for the support. As we grow old, the children will leave us and lead their own life. It will be just you and your spouse, giving each other physical, mental and moral support. Do not underestimate this and think that it's ok, I have other friends and family members to support. The feeling is different.
So, ladies out there. Stop complaining about your husband and learn to appreciate the better part of him. Otherwise, we would not have marry them, right?
Many a times, we complain about our spouse and wish that we are not married and get into all this marital mess. If you asked me one year ago, I would have agreed totally. But now, my perspective has changed.
For the last 2 hospitalisation, I was glad that my hubby was with me and sent me to the hospital. Otherwise, not sure how to handle the kids at home, or I may have to go to hospital alone. Sure to feel lousy, as already in pain and no company. Luckily, Anthony was back from his business trip and was able to be there with me.
As we age, we need a pillar of strength. Our spouse is our pillar of strength. And of course, without him, I cannot have produce my lovely twins. When I was in the hospital, I witnessed old couple, usually the husband (since I was in the women's ward) will come to visit their wife daily without fail. It is so heart warming. We never know who will be the weaker half, but whatever it is, we need each other for the support. As we grow old, the children will leave us and lead their own life. It will be just you and your spouse, giving each other physical, mental and moral support. Do not underestimate this and think that it's ok, I have other friends and family members to support. The feeling is different.
So, ladies out there. Stop complaining about your husband and learn to appreciate the better part of him. Otherwise, we would not have marry them, right?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Hospitalisation again
25 Aug, 2009 Tuesday
Yes, I was hosiptalised again, barely 2 weeks home. This time is due to a pus which grows next to my anus. We went to SGH A&E on 15 Aug, thinking that it was just some lump growth and the doctor would give me some cream and medicine, then we could go home. The doctor said that it was abyss and need surgery to remove it. Also, given that my immunity is compromised, they have to be careful about it. So, I was admitted. I chose to use antibiotics to shrink the pus, but after 2 days it got worse. So, no choice, opted for surgery and I was on the surgery table on Monday afternoon, under GA.
The surgeon told me that there were 5 cm of pus. Yucks! In the course of next few days that I was in the hospital, the wound heal well. My mother in law was very kind to come to the hosital consecutively for 3 days to learn to do dressing for me. Otherwise, when I am discharged, I would have to go to GP, which is a 10 mins walk from home. Also, given that the position is located in the dirty area, it gets soiled easily. So, it is more convenient for mother-in-law to do it. She is a really great lady. I can't do without her.
Just when I thought that I was ready to be discharged on Saturday, my princess at home was down with chicken pox. So, the oncologist, on the safe side, prescibes anti-fungal as a protection against chicken pox. In addition, I took a blood test to see how strong is my immunity against chicken pox. If it is not high enough, I will be given a vacination jab.
The blood test results was only out yesterday afternoon, after I agreed to pay 2.5x the normal price for the test. Otherwise, I need to be in hospital for another day. Thankfully, my immunity is high and can go home. Hurray!
Angeline is also progressing well with her chicken pox. By the time I reached home, her blisters (which number at least 200) have started to dry up. We have to maintain distance away from each other, avoiding physical contact. She has really been strong. Only 1 day of slight fever and she doesn't complain much. What a warrior!
Now that I am back home. can sleep better hours, although still wake up a few times throughout the sleep for toilet breaks, but I think should improve over the days. Chemo drip is on hold for the time being, until my wound heals, but I am still taking the oral medication and TCM herbs. Will be going back to see Dr Toh again on this Friday. Hope the tunour marker don't jump up again, since I am delaying the chemo drip.
Yes, I was hosiptalised again, barely 2 weeks home. This time is due to a pus which grows next to my anus. We went to SGH A&E on 15 Aug, thinking that it was just some lump growth and the doctor would give me some cream and medicine, then we could go home. The doctor said that it was abyss and need surgery to remove it. Also, given that my immunity is compromised, they have to be careful about it. So, I was admitted. I chose to use antibiotics to shrink the pus, but after 2 days it got worse. So, no choice, opted for surgery and I was on the surgery table on Monday afternoon, under GA.
The surgeon told me that there were 5 cm of pus. Yucks! In the course of next few days that I was in the hospital, the wound heal well. My mother in law was very kind to come to the hosital consecutively for 3 days to learn to do dressing for me. Otherwise, when I am discharged, I would have to go to GP, which is a 10 mins walk from home. Also, given that the position is located in the dirty area, it gets soiled easily. So, it is more convenient for mother-in-law to do it. She is a really great lady. I can't do without her.
Just when I thought that I was ready to be discharged on Saturday, my princess at home was down with chicken pox. So, the oncologist, on the safe side, prescibes anti-fungal as a protection against chicken pox. In addition, I took a blood test to see how strong is my immunity against chicken pox. If it is not high enough, I will be given a vacination jab.
The blood test results was only out yesterday afternoon, after I agreed to pay 2.5x the normal price for the test. Otherwise, I need to be in hospital for another day. Thankfully, my immunity is high and can go home. Hurray!
Angeline is also progressing well with her chicken pox. By the time I reached home, her blisters (which number at least 200) have started to dry up. We have to maintain distance away from each other, avoiding physical contact. She has really been strong. Only 1 day of slight fever and she doesn't complain much. What a warrior!
Now that I am back home. can sleep better hours, although still wake up a few times throughout the sleep for toilet breaks, but I think should improve over the days. Chemo drip is on hold for the time being, until my wound heals, but I am still taking the oral medication and TCM herbs. Will be going back to see Dr Toh again on this Friday. Hope the tunour marker don't jump up again, since I am delaying the chemo drip.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Health is very important
14 August, 2009 Friday
Got more energy lately, but it only lasted till evening. By night time, energy level drops to zero. So, I will back in bed by 9pm to 10pm. Sweating still continues. Doc says that is the side effect of the new chemo drug that I am taking.
I was back at the NCC clinic on last Tuesday. Gastric point pain really bothers me throughout the day. It can come anytime (including middle of the night) and the magnitude can also differ. Also feel nauseated, particularly during dinner time and poor appetite. Doc increases the dosage of my regular painkiller and add another one to be used on when necessary basis. Also, he gives me another anti-vomit medicine.
The gastric point pain seems to settle down after I increase the dosage of the painkiller. But the nausea feeling is really getting to my nerve. It feels like as though I am pregnant. Appetite still not back to the usual yet, particularly dinner. It is a chore for me to eat dinner now as I tend to feel like vomitting. Energy level at night is also bad. Want to help kids with their CA2 preparation also got no energy.
Have lost 2-3 kg over the last month. I have stopped my mediation for now. Not sure if it is the cause of all this upset. I never felt so down since the start of the chemo last year. So, I am back to chanting religiously, targeting 4 hours everyday. Will be going to Tokyo on next Thursday 20 Aug for 5 days for pilgrimage. Hope things will improve from then on.
From this episode, it really wakes me up. I have been having a relatively easier time until June 09 and health starts to deteriorate a bit. Energy level not back to usual self yet. So pals, sorry can't have lunch in town with you gals & guys until I recover better.
A lot of time, we tend to take things for granted. Health, family, friendship are all important to us, but we often neglect them in the pursuit of career and wealth. Need to strike a balance (although easier said than done) before it is too late!
Got more energy lately, but it only lasted till evening. By night time, energy level drops to zero. So, I will back in bed by 9pm to 10pm. Sweating still continues. Doc says that is the side effect of the new chemo drug that I am taking.
I was back at the NCC clinic on last Tuesday. Gastric point pain really bothers me throughout the day. It can come anytime (including middle of the night) and the magnitude can also differ. Also feel nauseated, particularly during dinner time and poor appetite. Doc increases the dosage of my regular painkiller and add another one to be used on when necessary basis. Also, he gives me another anti-vomit medicine.
The gastric point pain seems to settle down after I increase the dosage of the painkiller. But the nausea feeling is really getting to my nerve. It feels like as though I am pregnant. Appetite still not back to the usual yet, particularly dinner. It is a chore for me to eat dinner now as I tend to feel like vomitting. Energy level at night is also bad. Want to help kids with their CA2 preparation also got no energy.
Have lost 2-3 kg over the last month. I have stopped my mediation for now. Not sure if it is the cause of all this upset. I never felt so down since the start of the chemo last year. So, I am back to chanting religiously, targeting 4 hours everyday. Will be going to Tokyo on next Thursday 20 Aug for 5 days for pilgrimage. Hope things will improve from then on.
From this episode, it really wakes me up. I have been having a relatively easier time until June 09 and health starts to deteriorate a bit. Energy level not back to usual self yet. So pals, sorry can't have lunch in town with you gals & guys until I recover better.
A lot of time, we tend to take things for granted. Health, family, friendship are all important to us, but we often neglect them in the pursuit of career and wealth. Need to strike a balance (although easier said than done) before it is too late!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Progress update
8 Aug 2009, Saturday
It has been a while since I last update the blog. Haven't been well, so no energy to write.
The diarrhoea situation improved since I was discharged from the hospital on 29 Jul. Appetite improves progressively and I started to take solid food on last Sunday. Well, the good situation only last for 2 days.
On Wednesday (5 Aug), I was back to see Dr Toh. The tumor marker went up from 143 to 333. Not surprising, since I was off from the cancer drugs for 2 weeks because of my diarrhoea. Dr Toh changed the chemo drugs. Now, I need to be on drip for 2.5 hours every 2 weeks at NCC, where 2 types of chemo drugs will be administered intravenously one after another. In addition, I continue my oral cancer drug.
After the drip on Wednesday afternoon, Anthony said my face looked as pale as a sheet of white paper. I was also having gastric pain. But actually the pain comes from the compression of the organs in the upper abdomen and it sends the pain sense to the gastric spot. Really tough on that day. Also, the new chemo drug has a side effect of causing numbness and pain on the hand where the drip is poked. Even until today, I can still feel some pain and numbness sensation.
On Thursday, I had low grade fever. Pop fever medicine twice, then it settled down. Been sleeping a lot, particularly in the afternoon, as my sleep at night is disturbed by nature calls. Hence, feel lethargic on most part of the day.
Also, I have been sweating a lot. Regardless of the weather condition or whatever thing that I am doing (or sometime doing nothing), I perspire a lot until my hair is wet, as though I have just finished washing my hair.
Last night, there were 2 episodes of diarrhoea. I quickly took the anti-diarrhoea medicine last night and this morning. Hope it will work. Nonetheless, at least when I woke up this morning, I feel that I seem to have more energy compared to the last few days. Maybe it is the National Day feeling, so energy level also improves. Ha! Ha!
It has been a while since I last update the blog. Haven't been well, so no energy to write.
The diarrhoea situation improved since I was discharged from the hospital on 29 Jul. Appetite improves progressively and I started to take solid food on last Sunday. Well, the good situation only last for 2 days.
On Wednesday (5 Aug), I was back to see Dr Toh. The tumor marker went up from 143 to 333. Not surprising, since I was off from the cancer drugs for 2 weeks because of my diarrhoea. Dr Toh changed the chemo drugs. Now, I need to be on drip for 2.5 hours every 2 weeks at NCC, where 2 types of chemo drugs will be administered intravenously one after another. In addition, I continue my oral cancer drug.
After the drip on Wednesday afternoon, Anthony said my face looked as pale as a sheet of white paper. I was also having gastric pain. But actually the pain comes from the compression of the organs in the upper abdomen and it sends the pain sense to the gastric spot. Really tough on that day. Also, the new chemo drug has a side effect of causing numbness and pain on the hand where the drip is poked. Even until today, I can still feel some pain and numbness sensation.
On Thursday, I had low grade fever. Pop fever medicine twice, then it settled down. Been sleeping a lot, particularly in the afternoon, as my sleep at night is disturbed by nature calls. Hence, feel lethargic on most part of the day.
Also, I have been sweating a lot. Regardless of the weather condition or whatever thing that I am doing (or sometime doing nothing), I perspire a lot until my hair is wet, as though I have just finished washing my hair.
Last night, there were 2 episodes of diarrhoea. I quickly took the anti-diarrhoea medicine last night and this morning. Hope it will work. Nonetheless, at least when I woke up this morning, I feel that I seem to have more energy compared to the last few days. Maybe it is the National Day feeling, so energy level also improves. Ha! Ha!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Hospitalisation
30 Jul, 2009 Thursday
I finally got myself admitted into SGH, after 8 days of diahorrea. My girlfriend says that I have a high threshold for pain. Ha! Ha! Actually, I scared to go hospital, knowing that I will be admitted. True enough, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, from 24 Jul to 29 Jul.
Initial diagnosis was intestine infection. But all the tests done shows negative. Nonetheless, I was treated with 2 course of antibiotics and 2 types of anit-diahorrea medication.
The cancer medication and TCM medicine are stopped for the time being, for fear that it might trigger the diahorrea again, particularly the western medicine which list diahorrea as a possible side effect. TCM doc thinks that it is not likely her medication that trigger it. So, will resume TCM medication tomorrow.
The PET scan results was a mixed bag of results. Some cancer cells got improvement or stabilised, and some shows some deterioration. 2 new cancer cells spotted on the liver. So, the oncologist has to change the current cocktail of medication. With each change of medication, the costs just doubled. It costs approx $3K+ for every 3 weeks of chemo drugs. Then it increased to $5K+. Now, just for the new drug alone (one 1 type), it costs $2K for 1 dosage of medication for 2 weeks. And the doc will increase to 2 dosage per day. Luckily, I have the insurance company to cover most of the costs. Otherwise, will be bankrupt soon. So, friends, please go and review all your insurance policies, particularly on H&S to make sure that you are adequately covered (not that I am cursing you, but you never know what might happen).
I finally got myself admitted into SGH, after 8 days of diahorrea. My girlfriend says that I have a high threshold for pain. Ha! Ha! Actually, I scared to go hospital, knowing that I will be admitted. True enough, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, from 24 Jul to 29 Jul.
Initial diagnosis was intestine infection. But all the tests done shows negative. Nonetheless, I was treated with 2 course of antibiotics and 2 types of anit-diahorrea medication.
The cancer medication and TCM medicine are stopped for the time being, for fear that it might trigger the diahorrea again, particularly the western medicine which list diahorrea as a possible side effect. TCM doc thinks that it is not likely her medication that trigger it. So, will resume TCM medication tomorrow.
The PET scan results was a mixed bag of results. Some cancer cells got improvement or stabilised, and some shows some deterioration. 2 new cancer cells spotted on the liver. So, the oncologist has to change the current cocktail of medication. With each change of medication, the costs just doubled. It costs approx $3K+ for every 3 weeks of chemo drugs. Then it increased to $5K+. Now, just for the new drug alone (one 1 type), it costs $2K for 1 dosage of medication for 2 weeks. And the doc will increase to 2 dosage per day. Luckily, I have the insurance company to cover most of the costs. Otherwise, will be bankrupt soon. So, friends, please go and review all your insurance policies, particularly on H&S to make sure that you are adequately covered (not that I am cursing you, but you never know what might happen).
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