30 Jul, 2009 Thursday
I finally got myself admitted into SGH, after 8 days of diahorrea. My girlfriend says that I have a high threshold for pain. Ha! Ha! Actually, I scared to go hospital, knowing that I will be admitted. True enough, I stayed in the hospital for 5 days, from 24 Jul to 29 Jul.
Initial diagnosis was intestine infection. But all the tests done shows negative. Nonetheless, I was treated with 2 course of antibiotics and 2 types of anit-diahorrea medication.
The cancer medication and TCM medicine are stopped for the time being, for fear that it might trigger the diahorrea again, particularly the western medicine which list diahorrea as a possible side effect. TCM doc thinks that it is not likely her medication that trigger it. So, will resume TCM medication tomorrow.
The PET scan results was a mixed bag of results. Some cancer cells got improvement or stabilised, and some shows some deterioration. 2 new cancer cells spotted on the liver. So, the oncologist has to change the current cocktail of medication. With each change of medication, the costs just doubled. It costs approx $3K+ for every 3 weeks of chemo drugs. Then it increased to $5K+. Now, just for the new drug alone (one 1 type), it costs $2K for 1 dosage of medication for 2 weeks. And the doc will increase to 2 dosage per day. Luckily, I have the insurance company to cover most of the costs. Otherwise, will be bankrupt soon. So, friends, please go and review all your insurance policies, particularly on H&S to make sure that you are adequately covered (not that I am cursing you, but you never know what might happen).
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I'm back!
20 Jul, Monday
Actually I have been back for a week already. But have been feeling unwell since last Wednesday. I have bloated stomach. Doc (TCM and oncologist) reckon that it is water retention. TCM doc thinks that it might have been a worsening of the condition in my body. Will have to wait till Wednesday to know the results from the PET scan that I will be doing tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
When I saw the oncologist on last Sat, he was actually quite pleased with my blood test results. Tumor marker has dropped from 193 to 148. But, I was wheelchaired into his room. I have been having diarrhoea since last Thursday. 10 times on Thursday, 7 times on Friday, 5 times on Saturday and 7 times on Sunday. Pengsan! The diahorrea is caused by the TCM medicine, which tries to help to purge the water out from my stomach. But, even though I only took like 1.5 dosage, it continues to purge out. TCM doc says it's because my intestines has become sensitive. So, willl purge out more. Strangely, the Western medicine given to me to help me to pass urine, so as to get the fluid out, does not seem to have the same effective effect as the TCM medicine.
Luckily, all these happen after I return from Lanzhou. Can't imagine who could take care of me if I have really fallen sick there. In Lanzhou, my itineary is do nothing but meditation. Morning 8.30 to 11.30, butt on the chair to meditate, with 10 mins break after each 40mins session. After break from lunch, I will usually go back to hotel room for 1 hour of prayer and quick nap. Then, it is back to the school for the action (a bit like taiji stuff) at 3pm. After lesson ends at 4.30pm, we usually stay back to practice until 5pm, then go for dinner and buy bread for my breakfast and supper and bottled water. I bought so much water until the boss recognise me. So, I ask for delivery. Save me the hassle. Evening lesson starts at 6.30pm with 30min to 45 min lecture and then follow by meditation again.
Honestly, the food there is not to my liking. Spicy, oily and salty. Still prefer my mother-in-law's cooking.
I actually never watch any TV prog when I was in Lanzhou. Only get to watch a bit of CNA when I had a stayover in the airport hotel in Guangzhou. The hotel (Pullman) is very good break after the Lanzhou stay, where the hotel room is not well lit. Well, a price for everything. In Lanzhou, it's a 3 star hotel (with dirty carpet) and in Guangzhou, it is a 5 star hotel.
The trip there is really like being out of touch of the earthly world. Don't know what has happened during these 2 weeks. Everyday is only about meditation. Thankfully, I have managed to clear the 2 main veins of my body, so that as I meditate more, the internal energy will be able to flow fluently throughout my body.
I am expected to meditate at least 5 hours daily. Sadly, haven't been able to achieve that since I return. At best, on average, it's 4 hours. This would mean a cut in my social lunch meetings with friends. Please bear with me for the time being. Need to stay focus on getting well first.
Praying very hard that tomorrow PET scan will produce good results and the doctors can figure out how to solve my stomach bloatedness.
Actually I have been back for a week already. But have been feeling unwell since last Wednesday. I have bloated stomach. Doc (TCM and oncologist) reckon that it is water retention. TCM doc thinks that it might have been a worsening of the condition in my body. Will have to wait till Wednesday to know the results from the PET scan that I will be doing tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
When I saw the oncologist on last Sat, he was actually quite pleased with my blood test results. Tumor marker has dropped from 193 to 148. But, I was wheelchaired into his room. I have been having diarrhoea since last Thursday. 10 times on Thursday, 7 times on Friday, 5 times on Saturday and 7 times on Sunday. Pengsan! The diahorrea is caused by the TCM medicine, which tries to help to purge the water out from my stomach. But, even though I only took like 1.5 dosage, it continues to purge out. TCM doc says it's because my intestines has become sensitive. So, willl purge out more. Strangely, the Western medicine given to me to help me to pass urine, so as to get the fluid out, does not seem to have the same effective effect as the TCM medicine.
Luckily, all these happen after I return from Lanzhou. Can't imagine who could take care of me if I have really fallen sick there. In Lanzhou, my itineary is do nothing but meditation. Morning 8.30 to 11.30, butt on the chair to meditate, with 10 mins break after each 40mins session. After break from lunch, I will usually go back to hotel room for 1 hour of prayer and quick nap. Then, it is back to the school for the action (a bit like taiji stuff) at 3pm. After lesson ends at 4.30pm, we usually stay back to practice until 5pm, then go for dinner and buy bread for my breakfast and supper and bottled water. I bought so much water until the boss recognise me. So, I ask for delivery. Save me the hassle. Evening lesson starts at 6.30pm with 30min to 45 min lecture and then follow by meditation again.
Honestly, the food there is not to my liking. Spicy, oily and salty. Still prefer my mother-in-law's cooking.
I actually never watch any TV prog when I was in Lanzhou. Only get to watch a bit of CNA when I had a stayover in the airport hotel in Guangzhou. The hotel (Pullman) is very good break after the Lanzhou stay, where the hotel room is not well lit. Well, a price for everything. In Lanzhou, it's a 3 star hotel (with dirty carpet) and in Guangzhou, it is a 5 star hotel.
The trip there is really like being out of touch of the earthly world. Don't know what has happened during these 2 weeks. Everyday is only about meditation. Thankfully, I have managed to clear the 2 main veins of my body, so that as I meditate more, the internal energy will be able to flow fluently throughout my body.
I am expected to meditate at least 5 hours daily. Sadly, haven't been able to achieve that since I return. At best, on average, it's 4 hours. This would mean a cut in my social lunch meetings with friends. Please bear with me for the time being. Need to stay focus on getting well first.
Praying very hard that tomorrow PET scan will produce good results and the doctors can figure out how to solve my stomach bloatedness.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Before the trip
28 June 2009, Sunday
I promised to write before my qigong retreat, so here it is.
Seen the oncologist on last Friday, 26 June. The tumor marker had gone up from 172 to 193, some of the indicators for liver has also inched out of the normal range, although it is still aceeptable by my oncologist's standard. Told him that if I pressed on my liver, I can feel some pain. This seems like a repeat of the midway chemo treatment, a prelude that the medicine could be losing its effect. Nonetheless, the oncologist continued with the same treatment for the 5th cycle. Will do a PET scan after the 6th cycle. So, that is likely in Aug.
I developed a bad throat infection overnight on Thursday. So, the oncologist gave me a course of antibiotics. I also hurried to see my TCM doc. She also gave me a new set of medicine. It seems to work on Saturday, but it then develops into cough. As I am typing now, I ams still nursing my cough. Most likely catch it from my husband, who has been coughing for almost a month.
I promised to write before my qigong retreat, so here it is.
Seen the oncologist on last Friday, 26 June. The tumor marker had gone up from 172 to 193, some of the indicators for liver has also inched out of the normal range, although it is still aceeptable by my oncologist's standard. Told him that if I pressed on my liver, I can feel some pain. This seems like a repeat of the midway chemo treatment, a prelude that the medicine could be losing its effect. Nonetheless, the oncologist continued with the same treatment for the 5th cycle. Will do a PET scan after the 6th cycle. So, that is likely in Aug.
I developed a bad throat infection overnight on Thursday. So, the oncologist gave me a course of antibiotics. I also hurried to see my TCM doc. She also gave me a new set of medicine. It seems to work on Saturday, but it then develops into cough. As I am typing now, I ams still nursing my cough. Most likely catch it from my husband, who has been coughing for almost a month.
Maybe I had gone through a cycle of "downturn", knowing that the medicine may not be effective all the time; or perhaps, I am more mentally prepared this time; or I have been praying everyday for calmness and strength in the face of my illness, so that even if I receive unfavourable test results, I still maintain my calmness and composure.
Perhaps this qigong retreat that I am going alone is a journey that I need to undertake. I need to master the skill, so that I can use my own internal strength to heal my own illness. There will be some point in time that the western medicine may not work for me anymore. I need to depend on myself to heal myself. I sincerely pray that I can succeed in this trip and return safely back to Singapore on 13 Jul.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Ulcers and blister
15 Jun, 2009 Monday
The ulcers and blister are becoming a pain in the ass for me. Ok, not so much for the latter, as it comes one after another on my fingers. But the ulcers are really killing me. It started with 3 ulcers at one go. Then it healed and I had 1 week break. Another ulcer came and went and then another pop up. This time, when the latest addition has not recovered, I have 3 ulcers attack. Today, another new member just joined in. It is really pain, pain, pain!
Not sure if this is the outcome of my greediness. You see, now is the durian season. I cannot resist the temption, especially everytime when I go to the temple, I will definitely walk past this durain stall. So, on Saturday, I ate 3 seeds (actually 2.5, one is a mini size). And then guess what, the ulcers appear. :-(
Lesson learn: never touch durian again!
The ulcers and blister are becoming a pain in the ass for me. Ok, not so much for the latter, as it comes one after another on my fingers. But the ulcers are really killing me. It started with 3 ulcers at one go. Then it healed and I had 1 week break. Another ulcer came and went and then another pop up. This time, when the latest addition has not recovered, I have 3 ulcers attack. Today, another new member just joined in. It is really pain, pain, pain!
Not sure if this is the outcome of my greediness. You see, now is the durian season. I cannot resist the temption, especially everytime when I go to the temple, I will definitely walk past this durain stall. So, on Saturday, I ate 3 seeds (actually 2.5, one is a mini size). And then guess what, the ulcers appear. :-(
Lesson learn: never touch durian again!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Update on qigong
11 Jun, 2009 Thursday
I had cleared the first step of the qigong last week. Hooray! Got 4 more steps to go. So, now into step 2.
I am in the progress of making plans to go to Lanzhou (somewhere near Sichuan) bet 29 Jun to 13 Jul, to learn the skill from the founding school. My TCM highly recommends that I should make a trip to the school, as it will help to expeditate in my learning curve. Also, since now my health condition is stabilised, it is good that I boost my immunity through my own internal strength. She thinks that there is very little that the western medicine can help in my illness, after my current treatment loses its effect. So, will have to depend on myself, rather than through external medication, to combat these naughty girls and boys who are misbehaving inside my body.
So, I will be away for 2 weeks. Don't miss me much. I will still continue to update my blog before my trip.
I had cleared the first step of the qigong last week. Hooray! Got 4 more steps to go. So, now into step 2.
I am in the progress of making plans to go to Lanzhou (somewhere near Sichuan) bet 29 Jun to 13 Jul, to learn the skill from the founding school. My TCM highly recommends that I should make a trip to the school, as it will help to expeditate in my learning curve. Also, since now my health condition is stabilised, it is good that I boost my immunity through my own internal strength. She thinks that there is very little that the western medicine can help in my illness, after my current treatment loses its effect. So, will have to depend on myself, rather than through external medication, to combat these naughty girls and boys who are misbehaving inside my body.
So, I will be away for 2 weeks. Don't miss me much. I will still continue to update my blog before my trip.
My boy has grown up!
11 June 2009, Thursday
Since last week, we decided to let my boy to go to his tuition class by himself, which is in the nearby Community Club, about 5-10 mins walk from home. Also, he has become the "escort" to ferry the sister to and fro from her class in the same location. He has not failed us yet. Good job, son! :-)
Looks like he has grown up and we need to let go for him to be more independent.
The other day, he was telling me that he always depended on me to help him with his schoolwork. So, I asked him, what if mum is no longer around? He said, then "mei mei" (Angeline) will help him with his work. Wonder where is my hubby's role in his schoolwork arena?
Since last week, we decided to let my boy to go to his tuition class by himself, which is in the nearby Community Club, about 5-10 mins walk from home. Also, he has become the "escort" to ferry the sister to and fro from her class in the same location. He has not failed us yet. Good job, son! :-)
Looks like he has grown up and we need to let go for him to be more independent.
The other day, he was telling me that he always depended on me to help him with his schoolwork. So, I asked him, what if mum is no longer around? He said, then "mei mei" (Angeline) will help him with his work. Wonder where is my hubby's role in his schoolwork arena?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Missing in Action?
6 June, Saturday
Sorry for not updating my blog. Didn't realise that it has been a few weeks ago that I last updated.
Just got my blood tests results yesterday. The tumor marker has dropped from 188 to 172. Still a long way to go, but as long as it is going southwards, I can still continue with the same treatment. Some of the liver indicators and white blood cells are slightly out of range, but it is still acceptable. Yesterday, I didn't get to see Dr Toh. It was a registrar who seen me. I asked him how long would I need to continue on the current treatment, he said I would continue until it loses its effect, which can be detected through the tumor marker. I like this current treatment. It gives me more energy, although there are some minor side effects, such as blisters on my hand and fingers and mouth ulcers. These side effects are still bearable. :-)
Have been really busy lately, with kids now on school holidays. Have to think of activities to keep them occupied. I must say that they are quite obedient. Still willing to do work during the school holidays. Dig out my son's old kumon worksheets and they are willing to do it. Will need to work on my son's weak areas, such as English writing and comprehension and Chinese; and my daughter to get her to brush up her Chinese too.
We also went for a movie treat, Monsters vs Aliens. Quite a funny show. The kids enjoyed it and we had Swenzens after that. Luckily the kids didn't have cough after that. Otherwise, I will get the blame, as my kids have weak lungs as they tend to develop cough after eating cold stuff.
I am also into the qigong. Cleared the 1st step. 4 more steps to go and this is only just the beginning. According to those who return from the Chinese school, the teacher says that one must practice for 5 hours daily, so that it can cure the illness. Wow, this is like working, man!
Sorry for not updating my blog. Didn't realise that it has been a few weeks ago that I last updated.
Just got my blood tests results yesterday. The tumor marker has dropped from 188 to 172. Still a long way to go, but as long as it is going southwards, I can still continue with the same treatment. Some of the liver indicators and white blood cells are slightly out of range, but it is still acceptable. Yesterday, I didn't get to see Dr Toh. It was a registrar who seen me. I asked him how long would I need to continue on the current treatment, he said I would continue until it loses its effect, which can be detected through the tumor marker. I like this current treatment. It gives me more energy, although there are some minor side effects, such as blisters on my hand and fingers and mouth ulcers. These side effects are still bearable. :-)
Have been really busy lately, with kids now on school holidays. Have to think of activities to keep them occupied. I must say that they are quite obedient. Still willing to do work during the school holidays. Dig out my son's old kumon worksheets and they are willing to do it. Will need to work on my son's weak areas, such as English writing and comprehension and Chinese; and my daughter to get her to brush up her Chinese too.
We also went for a movie treat, Monsters vs Aliens. Quite a funny show. The kids enjoyed it and we had Swenzens after that. Luckily the kids didn't have cough after that. Otherwise, I will get the blame, as my kids have weak lungs as they tend to develop cough after eating cold stuff.
I am also into the qigong. Cleared the 1st step. 4 more steps to go and this is only just the beginning. According to those who return from the Chinese school, the teacher says that one must practice for 5 hours daily, so that it can cure the illness. Wow, this is like working, man!
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