Rainy days

21 Sep, 2009 Monday

Just had another PET scan done last Thursday. That's my 6th done within a year. Test results were not wonderful.

The lymph nodes in the abdomen hasbecome more active, and there is water retention in the stomach. Likely a leakage from the liver. As such, I am having a lot of wind and water in my stomach. My stomach now swell like as though I am 5 months pregnant. It can be so bad at times that it affects my appetite and everytime I beat my tummy, I am beating a drum with the "pong pong' sound. The liver cancer mass has also grown, although the cancer activity has been stabilised. This had caused the compression of the organs in the stomach area and caused pain at the gastric point and it permeates through to the back bone. Now, I am on a stronger version of the morphine pill, at 12 hours interval. If I am a bit late, the pain will hit me. Now, I am like a drug addict, must take the painkiller punctually. There is also come cancer activity pickup at the right lung, which in anyway, has previously been reported, but this time there is cancer activity pickup.

The good news is that the cancer has not spread to my other organs, such as bone, stomach, spleen and kidney. Initially, I thought the back pain arises because the cancer has spread to the bone.

My oncologist looked at the computer image and thinks that it is not as bad as that being reported in the PET scan report. I am now back on oral chemo medication, a cocktail of a combination of my earlier cocktails. But the medication makes me tire easily. I will have to take a nap at least once in the day, and will be on bed by 10pm.

My TCM doc has a more pessimistic view. My pulse is weak. So, she added some stuff in my TCM medicine to boost me up.

I believe the rainy days are temporary and the sun will come up again, and perhaps with rainbow too. The pain will not always be there. I need to maintain calm and always have a positive mind. This is important ingredient for me to fight back. Otherwise, my immunity will be weak and the cancer cells will be popping champagne and grow their children and grandchildren. I am going to give them a good fight!